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2020 is the year I learned to hate. I never quite learned before and I'm in my 50s. This year I learned to hate myself from time to time. And everyone I look at while I'm wearing a mask. I avoid my wife's eyes when we're shopping...her almost disembodied eyes when ripped from her face...her expressions that lend meaning to the varying intensity of the fires that burn in her eyes...lost under a mask that we both consider bullshit,

So far the hate I've learned to simmer in from time to time has no outlet. It's mostly directed inward. How long can it remain so chained? I don't know. I haven't pointed it at any individual person yet, besides my self. I'm afraid I might. If this shit goes on.

Damn.

govols 8 Sep 21
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Try waking in without a mask. If they ask tell them you have a mask exemption. Here is the one I used until I convinced my doctor to give me a letter exempting me from masks due to medical issues.

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Our social behaviors are being compromised with the current political mandates - the repercussions are likely to last for years. I am seeing it in seniors. Depression is deepening amongst those already with it and it is beginning to appear in others as isolation grows.

As to my response to people wearing masks - I respect those with conditions likely to be dangerous if they catch the bug, but to the 20-somethings walking along the beach with masks on? I want to rip them off and scream ARE YOU STUPID??? So....I'd say my inner dialog is NOT being very conducive to a positive approach to others!

Same feeling but I like the idea of a test run for the big one and love an experiment. I admit to some level of depression but I think I can control it. If the death per capita was not relatively high in the U.S. I would definitely be more militant about reopening.

@wolfhnd I'm naturally outgoing and social - I've been working hard to get out and interact with people....but I am finding myself TOO talkative when it happens. This past weekend I tried (mostly successfully) to curtail my side of conversations when they occurred. Not sure how I am going to deal with this going forward - I can see the impact and for now I have means to keep myself ok - but the vast majority of others....I don't see them with the capacity to do so.

I've been trying to find small businesses I can support....but we are facing about 40% permanent closures here in CA....

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