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In what ways can parents instill personal responsibility in the early developmental phase

KariSpook 4 Mar 23
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Just an idea or two, from an old father, now grandfather.

One method I used, was to establish clear guidelines on personal rights. I defined property ownership over the need to share. If a child owned something, they did not need to share it, If they chose to share, or negotiated a swap, great, but no-one had the right to take their stuff.

This encourages them to develop negotiation skills, and also to relate cause and effect. It also allowed me to "catch them" doing nice things like "giving" to other, where I could comment on how pleased I was to see that. .... Way better than ... I know its yours, but you have to share .... Share what? Your yard, BBQ patio, home ????

In addition, I set fees for tasks, rather than set amounts of pocket money, by completing checklist of chores (there were mandatories that had to be done first, or they couldn't chose a paying job) they could accrue money towards items, which were then their property. This seems to have worked as most own their homes, and take responsibility for their lives.

It's of course not that easy, But its an idea

Oh yeah ... We also have Mums great plan, where she collected all the stuff left out at the end of the day, and you had to pay a fee to get it back from the pound. It got a lot more stuff put away. (the fees were pretty light)

But never become heartless. You can also use this to demonstrate that sometimes Justice is served, in a strange way, such as when one young child who could not afford the fee to Mums cleanup, had her tears wiped away by dad, who spent "his" money to buy back the item. ... What an illustration of Justice and Mercy working together, The requirement of law was kept, But mercy was shown by one with power to do so.

Good on you for looking to instill virtues like this. I hope you get many good ideas.

I look forward to seeing what others contribute.

0

I would definitely suggest pocket money. My parents didn’t give me any (I didn’t get everything I wanted, just no pocket money) and I think I would have developed goid fibancial habits earlier if I had.

Working on long term projects is probably a good idea too. Rather than “personal responsibility” I think you should teach them “ownership” because that is both positive (they need to be driven) and also negative (they need to take responsibility).

3

You have to let children suffer the consequences of their choices. ( Obviously these types of things must be age appropriate, start out small and this does not mean that you do not supervise your children. ) you must teach them that they have the capacity to make choices and that some are good and some can make life very difficult.

Structure their lives with some cause and effect. For instance they may earn stars that can be exchanged for movie time, ice cream or maybe a trip to tha e dollar store. The key is that the adult has to have the discipline to stick to the plan!!

Let your kids explore. Give them time to figure things out on their own. Encourage trial and error. Let them “do it wrong”’. The worst thing a parent can do is coddle children to the point that they are helpless and have no skills, like personal responsibility, to take with them to adulthood.

Parenting with Love and Logic 101!

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Simple little things like tidying away their own toys or looking after something even if it's just watering a plant everyday. However, this doesn't mean you order them to do it and just sit back - that just leads to resentment and ultimately conflict - do it together and talk about why you're doing it.

Usually simple, achievable tasks which are also fun, work best.

2

Lay down strict guidelines that must be adhered to, or otherwise grounding is in due course...

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