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The Inviting Slippery Slope
by Joe Kelley
2-10-2022

Humanity is on its stomach and there is a Right Butt Cheek called Gluteus Maximus. Humankind started somewhere on that lofty mound, protecting and serving each other, finding the best among the best, investing in even better along the way toward posterity for prosperity.

The Left Butt Cheek, as humanity was on its stomach, was plain old Ass Cheek, one of two, and the Left part of humanity could imagine the Right part of humanity across the slippery slopes in between.

There was a sense of the grass being greener on the other side.

Here are your free Crack Pipes, the Left Leader says, go forth and find some of that elusive Crack.

Gluteus Maximus Leader on the Right says, hey, someone stole our Monopoly on the Leadership game, here is your license to Monopolize, go find those elusive slaves, get the stolen whip, and Crack it.

On both sides, there is a line for all those who are made anxious to get their pipe and their license to make slaves out of weaker, less devious people. The leaders on both sides have a free supply of lube, called Treasonous Fraud, or KY Jelly, or any name so long as the meaning of the name is not lost down the slope to the destination, which can cause too much friction and a lot of pain without that vital lube. All who wish to get their free devices, their Crack Pipes, their Exclusive Licenses to kill or be killed, face a Rule, a hurdle, a hoop to jump, a nebulous cost of membership onto the line for the free stuff. Orders for those in line are codified into Statutes, on Stone Tablets with fine print written so small no one can read it, confessing that no one even wrote it, but alas there is free stuff after all, so what good is it to worry endlessly about the fine print that doesn’t even exist if reason can reasonably reason out the hidden messages that cannot exist? Those in line must allow liberal slathering of Treasonous Fraud, while they wait their turn on the slippery slope, to get started on the accelerating ramp to free nirvana.

A one-way trip.

Treasonous Fraud Heaven on Earth for Humanity, found at the destination place, down the slippery slope.

Imagine the fun, while moving in line, anxiously awaiting your free Crack pipe, for the Left Ass Check Line, and that precious gift of absolute dictatorial power, libido dominandi, on the fringes of the Roman Empire, on the mound called Gluteus Maximus.

I can’t wait.

All those on the left ass cheek of humanity picture the paradise lost, but soon to be found, where all free stuff flows in abundance, without any need to work to get any of it, other than liberally injecting each other with the lube of Treasonous Fraud, affording all a friction-free ride to the final destination, where all the crack anyone ever wanted could easily pack itself into each of the new crack pipes for all those in line, waiting their turn into paradise at the end of that wonderful ride down the glorious slippery slope.

Lighter fuel and lighters free too. 

All roads paved with gold lead to Rome, they say, to each of those waiting in line, so that each one knows the readable parts of the script, and in turn each parrots their part in the script to each other in line, waiting for their turn. The final destination is finally reached for all who are patient, for all those volunteering to go down that slippery slope, all good deeds invested pay handsome rewards in the end. Some of those in line scribble a dot on a blank piece of paper, a paper product made on the Gluteus Maximus mound, with many dots all around the Central Black Hole in the Center of The Roman Empire, all roads traced from the Center trace outward to those fringe locations. The picture pictured on paper is impressive to those seeking their reward for traveling down the slippery slope from Gluteus Maximus.

Those in the front of both lines begin to sense a change as those individuals begin their ride down the slippery slope, something in the air, a stench, a change from the anticipation of good things on the horizon, not yet in view, to apprehension concerning that growing, overpowering, Rat smell of torturous death.

Distant screams at first appear joyful, but then horrifyingly terrible.

It smells like asshole to those who got out of line before it was too late.

Boogieman Buggery to those preferring to earn real credit. 

Welcome to paradise, here is your free crack pipe, and your license to make slaves of us all.

Caveat Emptor

Josf-Kelley 8 Feb 10
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