Arielle new "hot mom" got me legit triggered. I grew up with a single mom who used to go out to bars and hang out with her friends all the time. She wasn't coming home drunk every night but 3 or 4 times a week I wouldn't see her until after I came home from school because she was hanging out with friends at night and had to work in the morning. So my great grandma would watch me and my sister. So when Regan talked about going out drinking, leaving her son with family it put me right back to that place as a kid of being alone and afraid and just had to deal with it because dad was gone and mom was off living the single life. All I can speak while watching this was "Bitch, reinvent yourself. Discover new Part of Yourself. This party girl shit is fun but it will leave you with fake people you call your friend and shitty relationship after shitty relationship because you met them and shitty places. I've seen it happen over and over. Also it expiration date. You're going to have to yourself anyway
Hopefully this this kid channels his emotions into something positive because when puberty hits things are going to get real confusing. Locomotion evening switch to anger.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.awww im sorry babe. she doesnt do it often like that. she just takes some time for herself whcih is healthy.
ariellescarcella
Level 7
Aug 5, 2020
0
Not a zero concern, and given your background and experiences, a real hot button issue. I have worked with some really messed up kids and seen what you describe, but my perception of what Ragan was describing is that she is not that far toward the irresponsible. I could be wrong. There are workable compromise positions that allow for some alone/adult time, but I do agree that the kid has to be the priority.
Warm_Fuzzy
Level 6
Aug 4, 2020
0
I'm sorry that you're mom was like and partied excessively. But I believe that in the context of the video, it was to not let being a parent completely takeover your life. Just because you are a parent doesn't mean that, that's all you are. Just have to find the balance that works.
Tfergie81
Level 2
Aug 3, 2020
0
I'm sorry to hear about your mom not being there for you enough as a kid. That's a hard way to grow up.
It sounds like there has to be a balance for a mother between being with the kids and being able to be "herself."
My mother was, in some ways, opposite to yours. She was a stay at home mom and most of her hobbies and friends were tied to her kids in some way - like she was a Girl Scout leader for her daughters and she made friends that way. She was friends with the moms of my sisters' friends. She befriended a teacher of mine.
She fell into a deep depression and let her body go as well. Her physical and mental health severely tanked when I was a teenager. She never took care of herself and now that she's older, she's suffering the consequences: suffered a stroke, kidneys failing, and some early signs of dementia. Much of it could have been preventable.
There has to be a give and take. I'm not a parent and I don't know HOW people do it. Maybe someone reading this is a parent who feels they are doing it right or had a parent who did it right? If so, leave me a comment saying HOW!
RavenMStark
Level 7
Aug 1, 2020
0
I agree with you, a balance is necessary. I think my mom was closer to shio's mom, but she did care a lot about me and my brother. But what he said is very true tho
Kids don't think "oh my mom is working/having a little bit of fun, so I won't care about her not being here"
As a kid you really feel abandoned, and this marks a person forever. I'm lucky that my grandma was very good to me and I felt loved by her while she was with me and my brother. But I don't blame a lot my mother because my dad didnt give a shit about us, he did much less than her.
I think the real point here is that single moms and dads will never have it great. No one can raise a kid alone and do It greatly without a LOT of sacrifice. I know is a very conservative idea, but the best option is for parents to stick together, even if they can't do it romanticaly. Kids need more than one person.
@Cecilia You make a good point. I was lucky and had both a mom and a dad. They weren't picture perfect parents (I'm sure there's no such thing), but they did the best they could. Even with two of them, I didn't feel like I got all the attention and support I needed as a kid!
When you say parents should "stick together," do you mean they should not divorce? Or do you mean in more of a "co-parenting" sort of way?
Also, what is your take on the concept that prison is keeping a lot of fathers away from homes?
@RavenMStark I mean that they should try their best to negociate and stay together, but if they are really not happy with that, they divorce, but keep this "co-parenting" and try to be friendly to each other.
About the prisons, I do think a reform to the prison system and some changes in law are necessary, I think the war on drugs is not really worth it, It generates a lot of crime, because when something is ilegal but demanded, criminals and bad people take the market and get wealth, and more potencial for creating damage. But aside the drugs related arrests, and focusing on property rights related crimes or murders, those people who commit those things wouldn't be good fathers anyway, so It doesn't make a lot of difference.
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