Hey Arielle, I have an 11 year old daughter who thinks she may be a lesbian. We have already talked to both of our kids about loving them no matter what and they are pretty good about talking to us if they feel they need to. I definitely don't want her to feel like she has to hide it and don't want to push her to talk about it. Any tips on how to talk to her or how to make sure she knows that she is safe to open up when she is ready? I just want to support her.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I agree with arielle--i'm a lesbian who came out to my mom when i was 17. i definitely knew before then, but coming out was still nerve-wracking. i'm still somewhat closeted to the rest of my family (they definitely know but it hasn't come up officially).
one thing my mom did when she began suspecting i was a lesbian (probably because i started going to school in my dad's clothes tbh) was having open language when discussing my future partner. instead of saying "no boyfriends in high school," it was "no boyfriends or girlfriends." instead of "when you have a husband" it was "if you get married." when i was getting the gardasil shot, she said "it doesn't matter what gender you like, you can still get hpv." stuff like that. eventually she would flat out state "if you're gay it doesn't matter" when talking about how i can't date until i finish with school, get a job, and my own place lol.
we're not what you would consider a very sex-positive family, either--my parents were shocked when i came home crying after learning about flavored condoms in health class (age 13)--but these small things made me feel comfortable coming out to her. it sounds like you're a great parent, and your daughter probably senses that. adolescence is just tricky overall.
Bilitis
Level 4
May 9, 2020
2
Your Mom sounds like a genuinely awesome person!
if she already spoke to you about it, then it seems like she's already comfy with you! You're an amazing parent!
ariellescarcella
Level 7
May 9, 2020
2
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