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Why do young women consider unwanted comments about their appearance as sexual harassment compared to older women?

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Charter 6 Jan 23
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21

When I was a lot younger, and a hotter dish than I really understood, the comments used to embarrass me. Eventually I learned to simply take them as a compliment. Today, however I think two things may be at play. Firstly, strident Feminism is pure BS and young women today think they are semi-Gods who must have everything their way. The other issue is that guys today may make more explicit and lewd comments than I got to hear as a young women. Things people openly voice today would have been considered incredibly rude a few decades ago.

In all honesty I think guys have a much harder time than they ever used to and girls seem quite happy to destroy guy's egos and natural male tendancies. Glad I'm no longer young.

You may not be chronologically young, but you're definitely together. As to "hotness," never sell yourself short!

@Terence57 Why Thank You kind sir. You made my day <3

I agree @torontoGeorgia

12

I think a lot of women have been brainwashed by the corrosive ideology of feminism

12

Young people are more conditioned to be outraged over pretty much everything. Fits the narrative...

2peros Level 8 Feb 7, 2021
9

Something else? Vanity! Young women are more vain than older women. Especially is this the case among the spoiled brat feminist variety.

6

Young women only call it sexual harassment if the man is unattractive to her - too old, too short, too ordinary...that's the main problem with "sexual harassment" policies. It all depends on a given womans attitude about the men who take notice of her and say so outloud or with a look...it's a completely subjective thing and therefore unjust.
If a man who has attributes that the woman finds desirable then she will not object and in fact will flirt and invite him to say what's on his mind when he looks at her. As if all men are supposed to know intuitively that she's too good for them - or not...lol

iThink Level 8 Feb 7, 2021

In my experience, just because a man is attractive it doesn't mean that an unwanted comment is acceptable.

If a woman lets you know, or you already know, that a comment is not wanted, IE an unwanted comment, then attractiveness is irrelevant.

6

Note how it says "unwanted" compliments. Translation: If its a male they find attractive/high status then its okay.

5

Evolution. males among primates compete with each other for female attention and will fight one another for dominance, to gain mating rights. Female primates select. This basic programing is still a part of us. Being offended by a comment from someone that would not be chosen as a partner is part of the selection process, i.e. rejection. If a different person made the same comment, often the individual would not be offended, it all depends on who makes the compliment. To understand human behaviour we need to understand how we evolved. This is why males and females do not think alike (any talk of this is now labeled sexism).

If you haven't seen this I think you get a wonderful chuckle: The "Nothing Box"... Gungor

[bing.com]

@toronto_Georgia I enjoyed the video. I believe every word of it is true.

@Eric123 Absolutely and delightfully so, although I do wish I had a "Nothing" box when trying to fall asleep at night 🙂

@toronto_Georgia
Okay ... I saw this quite some time ago ...
When discussing a male/female world, i see lots of validity.

However, in this time of ...? Mind Bending Gender Bender Fluid ... Fluidity?

How does the brain of a 6 foot Pan Gender Undergoing Transition to a Non Binary Octopus so they can compete in Girl’s Wrestling ... work?

@Bay0Wulf LOL, I haven't a clue!

I have thought, for some time though, that those transitioning to the "opposite" sex should undergo a brain scan which would show quite clearly which type of mind they have. Scans are excellent diagnostic tools for confirming the true sex of the brain. I have, all my life, seen some people who appear to quite clearly have been wrong sexed. Not often, but I certainly have seen this. As scans do quite clearly show differences they might prevent the sad situation of people transitioning only to find they are still miserably unhappy and live to regret their choice.

All in all though I leave Non Binary Octopuses to their own "special" world along with rainbow colored unicorns.

@toronto_Georgia
“... all my life, seen some people who appear to quite clearly have been wrong sexed. Not often, but I certainly have seen this...”

I too have seen this ... nothing to the extent of what I see today however.

I used to consider these people to be unfortunate.
Now, what I see seems to be Simple Suicide by a Culture being deliberately fostered, promoted and protected.

@Bay0Wulf I agree. Something this transformative is a double edged sword and should not be heavily pushed by the SJWs of our world. The SJW's assume they are noble champions of underdogs ... seriously not always a good thing to be militant about.

5

I'm going to assume that by, "unwanted comments," they are unsolicited comments from people that she HAS NOT made clear are unwelcome. Simply put, I don't see any real difference between the reactions of a younger woman and an older woman who've both made it clear with a specific individual that they do not wish to receive such comments.

As to why younger women consider it sexual harassment? Because they've repeatedly been told that it is, whereas older women didn't grow up with that rhetoric. I don't think it has anything to do with personal attractiveness or sensitivity. Women are taught now very early on that men are untrustworthy sexual opportunists who, and I quote, "need to be taught how not to rape." Therefore any compliment coming from a man - for which she has not given him implicit/explicit permission - is viewed through the lens of being predatory and insincere.

Now, you could make the argument that women want to be seen for their accomplishments and not for their appearance or physical attractiveness, but that argument implies that complimenting a woman on her appearance inherently diminishes her as a person or a professional, which is not the case at all. After all, no man would take umbrage that a compliment somehow diminishes him as a man or as a professional, yet women are taught that this is almost certainly the case.

I would also observe that - in my experience - this is another case of the fringe speaking for the entirety. You have a very vocal group saying that approaching a woman to compliment her and ask her out is harassment, followed by a much larger group that laments that men no longer seem have the "courage" to ask women out anymore, and what's up with that?

5

Older women get a lot less remarks than young women and hence are more appreciative of being flirted with.

Young women are also insecure and don’t know how to interpret when men flirt with them.
Older woman know the script and know when to just laugh or get upset.

Hanno Level 7 Feb 7, 2021

I think there's a lot of Merit to the rate of compliments that a woman receives.

However a lot of the discussion revolves around what we interpret as "unwanted"

In my interpretation, an unwanted comment is one where the woman has made it clear, or you already know by virtue of circumstance, that said common is unwanted.
For example, commenting how great a woman's ass looks during a business meeting is clearly unwanted.
Or if you're in a bar and a woman already let you know that she doesn't want to talk to you and you continue commenting on her appearance that's unwanted.
Or making comments to a complete stranger from across the street, catcalling, is also unwanted

Under my interpretation, regardless of age if a woman doesn't want us commenting on their appearance, then they are not being sensitive by rejecting our advances... We are being assholes by thinking we are entitled to go against their wants.

@TheMiddleWay by your view, since taxation is without consent, its rape of my money, therefore we need to start a conservative me 2 movement.

@TheMiddleWay I'm offended by your comments, so since they are unwanted, you are harassing me.

@Beachslim
When we can ask money for consent, then I encourage it (not you) to start a financial me too movement. 😉

@Beachslim

In my interpretation, an unwanted comment is one where the woman has made it clear, or you already know by virtue of circumstance, that said common is unwanted.

This is the first you've made it clear that my comments to you are unwanted.
Knowing this, I shall make no further comments to you.

@TheMiddleWay yet that's not how it works. Since I have no obligation to let you know your comments are unwanted, you are guilty as charged

@Beachslim
As you've already expressed my comments to you are unwanted, do I have your clear and vocal permission to respond?

@TheMiddleWay too late

@TheMiddleWay your continued asking of the question is more evidence of harassment.

@TheMiddleWay
Some posts are just not worth responding to...

@Hanno
While I fully view his comment as satire, it's interesting that he considers my comments as unwanted despite him never expressing his prior wants but never considers if his comments to me were unwanted despite my never expressing my prior wants.

4

I forgot the most important thing to consider... some women are bat-shit crazy.

Never heard the term “Haywire”?

4

"Unwanted comments" are from men who they do not find attractive, and therefore are deemed "unwanted"... instead of bitching like little feminism-indoctrinated girls, try saying "Sorry, I am not interested," like an mature young woman would say... or, as an older woman would say, "Thank you, I am not interested."

3

Older women have lived long enough to not get our knickers in a twist over such trivial things. When men make comments of that nature it is usually a compliment; true sexual harassment is much more than a remark.

I was just about to say the same thing!

When I was a teen and my early 20's I was so easily bothered by things that barely inspire a slow blink and raised brow now. Similarly: I'm willing to speak up for myself if I feel someone if bring creepy toward me now, whereas I would just tell anyone BUT the man that I wasn't happy with a comment when I was younger.

3

Maybe they can’t take a joke 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

3

While there are many cases that should be taken seriously, where conduct towards women is inappropriate, Misunderstood Feminism, manipulation, a lower threshold, the whole "Believe" philosophy, and the prospect of easy money will encourage some women to make dubious claims that they wouldn't otherwise make.

3

I think there are a multitude of factors, and some good ones listed here already. I will add cultural changes to the mix. I see many people, and mostly young people that I do not understand their views and the way they think. I see how people dress, how they talk to each other, how they are consumed in social media. Young America seems to have different views on Career plans, car ownership, home ownership, this just seems another piece of the puzzle to me.

2

Society has taught young women that they are viewed firstly as sexual objects. Thankfully with experience most learn to value themselves as the individuals they've always been.

There are men with the same shortcoming.

2

'Hell has no fury like a woman scorned' ~ and an unwanted comment might be in the form of 'you should quit dressing like a whore or a slut' AND that could be interpreted as harassment. Dress modestly and you won't attract the unwanted attention. If the rebuttal is that's the way everyone else is dressing or its the latest fashion, well that may be true but then that also explains the rise in sexual assaults.

Actually, a woman dressed with everything covered is more likely to complain about sexual harassment while carrying a knife in her pocket. A woman walking exposing her body is probably more likely to be ok with you asking them out.

2

If anyone has made it clear that comments about them are unwanted then we are assholes for making those comments, regardless of sex or attractiveness.

I think older women don't make their wants known as clearly as younger women and hence will accept things they don't want with more facility.

But when you compliment a younger woman, and she lets you know that that compliment is unwanted, that woman gets labeled as a sensitive, a bitch, standoffish, etc... when all that she's doing is letting her wants be vocally known.

I think culture is also a huge component and why it's lamentable that this site has such little diversity to discuss these differences with. I know that my South American female bretheren react wholly different to comments by men then their North American counterparts. However, I suspect the older versus younger women would also follow along the lines of historical presidents with younger Latino women letting their wants be known more so than older Latino women.

Big topic. Wish there were more younger and older women, white and otherwise, to give us guys a better perspective from their side of things.

The item is a bit open to interpretation. If the person either has prior knowledge that the comments are unwanted or that the comments are outside socially acceptable norms that is very different to simply saying to somebody "you look nice".

@Eric123
I agree.
Most of the responses pivot around either a proactive or retroactive interpretations of "unwanted".

To me, it means they make it known they don't want a compliment and hence it's unwanted.
This is a proactive view.

To others, it means they didn't specifically ask for a compliment and upon receiving it, then decide they didn't want it.
This is the retroactive view.

@TheMiddleWay doesn't matter if they didn't specifically let you know its unwanted. You're going down.

@Beachslim
As you have previously made it known that you find my comments to you offensive, do I have your clear and vocal consent to comment here?

@TheMiddleWay you're missing the point entirely 😂

@Beachslim
Do I have your clear and vocal consent to comment on your point?

2

Young women have the unearned privilege of the long standing tradition of first refusal. That has grown to include not only the legitimate right to reject sexual advances but rather insane right to punish people who make unwanted sexual advances. In theory that means that men cannot make either unwanted or wanted advances. It means that only women will be able to make sexual advances. Since females general are only interested in high status males the result has been that 20 percent of males are having most of the sex. Creating a new classification of males called involuntary celibates. It leaves both females and males frustrated because females cannot find enough high status males and males cannot find faithful mates. In a natural environment it is a healthy arrangement in a civilized environment not so much. Civilization requires a level of trust and cooperation that provides for both stability and complex organization.

Girls learn from an early age that they have power over men and it is pleasurable for most. It's even more fun if they have the power to punish lower status or undesirable males. As women age there sexual power diminishes and the exercise of it less enjoyable. For three generations now we have lived under the ethos of "if it feels good do it". It probably is neither realistic or optimal.

I think there is some validity to that, but the otherside of it is that women have been told than men ONLY consider them sexual beings and ONLY for sexual conquest and that they have been oppressed for centuries. The men that jumped on that bandwagon were mostly predators and those that could submit to the women for their own personal benefit.

that is too broad a brush to paint with, but the premise of the question is no less broad.

Still, overall, the last couple of generations of men and women have been corrupted by the efforts of a Marxist attempt to use sex as the means to divide and conquer. Till that changes, nothing else can.

@tracycoyle

I'm just trying to give the evolutionary perspective. It is unavoidably a broad brush. The nuances may be more important but you have to start somewhere.

@tracycoyle

I don't offer solutions 🙂

My observation as someone old enough to remember when women were mostly housewives is there is no making people happy. Those traditional arrangements were just as miserable as the current cultural norms.

What is odd is that the same mythologies are used to oppress women despite the objectives being quite different. For example emotional intelligence and women's intuition are basically the same concept. Emotions or instincts are certainly a form of intelligence but not by the definition of intelligence that society has adopted either traditionally nor currently. In the case of emotional intelligence it is clearly a way to get women to address issue from an emotional perspective not a rational perspective making them easier to manipulate. Manipulated to accept the post modern quasi Marxist feminism that dominates popular culture. Women's intuition served the same function but it was designed to get women to accept that their role as mothers and house keepers was natural and something they and only they were mentally equipped to handle. The other traditional lie was that girls maturing faster than boys was a positive thing. In fact early maturation is a disadvantage in long term development. Today early maturation is sold as an indication of superior overall emotional stability and judgement.

The truth is that women have there own set of biological challenges. Nothing however is being done to address them. The wild hormonal swings that come with egg production and just the nature of estrogen itself means women are more prone to neuroticism than males. Where neuroticism means a certain type of emotion pain. Women experience the world as distressing, threatening, and unsafe. As far as I know girls are not taught either that this is different than the way men experience the world or how to deal with it. They also are not taught that emotions or instincts cannot be satisfied. If they could they would serve little purpose from the blind clock makers perspective. Our educational system has always been designed to create women in the image of some ideology not to improve their well being. To serve the interest of society not to live fulfilling lives. There is nothing necessarily wrong with putting the interests of society first but I'm of the opinion that happy people make good citizens.

@tracycoyle I think we tend to over-generalize our analyses of this matter. The fact is that women objectify themselves as a matter of course. They wear revealing clothes, use perfumes and cosmetics, shoes with tall heels, do up hair etc. Women work very hard and spend a lot of money enhancing their own sexuality.
Of course everyone appreciates a well groomed person - young and old alike. There is an ever present and never ending dynamic in the game of boy meets girl.
Not every encounter between boy and girl will lead to a proposition for sex much less marriage and babies. But that really is the ultimate catalyst for the dynamic itself.
Women and men both are as capable of varying levels of maturity and lack thereof. There is no way to know how a woman will respond or react when a man flirts, comments, looks in her direction up and down and around. I know this - if men were to cease their impulse to pursue women in general would be very unhappy. They would no doubt begin having very serious doubt about their own desirability - which is natural. Whether they acknowledge it or not women want - women need to be pursued by men.
Seems a lot of women never developed a good method of deflecting - discouraging unwanted advances. I've known women who were very good at that and others who never could handle things well either way. They just don't know how (or they're too lazy to think about it much) to play the game of "attraction and deflection".
But men don't get off scott free here either. Some men are smooth, intuitive and sensitive enough that they know how to approach in a non-threatening way. Other men are coarse, awkward, dull and prone to "heavy handedness" - come off as overbearing oafs. Some men might be completely harmless but their outward vibe actually unnerves or frightens a woman.
The solution is to NOT rush to mommy (gov't , human resources, etc) every time someone looks at you. Grow up. Be an adult. Learn to deal with problems - resolved problems yourself.
Only file charges or make formal accusations when necessary - and that of course can be an arbitrary line to cross as well.

@iThink that's not the real world

@Beachslim ?

@iThink they won't be an adult and communicate.

@Beachslim

The truth will set you free.

You make a good point. Cryptic sexual conflict is usually seen as only an almost mechanical process that doesn't rise to the level of behavior but that is clearly not the case. In the natural environment lying is a useful innate behavior but in a civilized state not so much. In the natural state it helps maintain troop cohesion but in the civilized state it can have the opposite effect.

2

Overall maturity may be a factor there.

2

So there would be "Positive/Wanted Comments", "Neutral Comments", "Negative/Unwanted Comments", and "Harassing Comments". I find the chart incomplete on this basis. Plus, the total rate of comments of any kind. Then, thinking about this further, how would we gage the content of the comments? Compare frequency of comments by commenter's intent vs receiver's reception.

1

Older women did not grow up in a time when the claim of being a victim did not come with vast benefits in some parts of society. With the leftists being obsessed with the idea that there are only victims and oppressors in society and the need to overthrow these perceived oppressors, there is incentive for people to claim they are victimized, regardless of whether they actually are or not. Some people have gone as far as to arrange faked crimes against themselves and report it to authorities, such as Jussie Smollet hiring two people to stage a crime against him based on racism. The increase in sensitivity to unwanted comments about appearance is another result of this obsession with perceived oppression.

1

Imo several issues have been overblown in the current social landscape, chief among them is feminism. Feminism in the current definition means cutting down and demeaning men instead of respecting and building up women.

Re comments? Crude and inappropriate comments have always been crude and inappropriate. That I place back to the responsibility of the parents. You don’t learn to respect women as a kid it won’t happen as an adult...a for instance - the prime minister of Canada groped a young woman reporter, apparently thinking nothing of it, as if it was his right to do so. His apology? Had he known she was a reporter, he wouldn’t have fondled her...Huh?

But as to the why? Vanity. Overblown self-importance. Ignorance — essentially the same attitudes that cause young men to make the remarks...

1

First off want to see how the questions were asked and how they were actually weighted in the research. As this type of "research" is very prone to biases on the part of those conducting it. So first thing is finding out is this a sound set of data or not. From there it is looking at what the factors might be as there are multiple items that can or do influence this IF the data is valid.

1

The young women are stupid. Often the person making the comment is making it stupidly.

Nonetheless, we've trained up a generation of people to take offense at every opportunity.

The divide increases daily, so whatever opinion we have on the matter is of no consequence.

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