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Once upon a time, schools taught legit physical fitness. When I was in 3rd grade, every student was subjected to a set of standardized fitness tests. The tests were hard, and they were well designed. It was like the NFL combine. The tests at the combine are designed to judge NFL potential. Is The Force strong in you?

Kids grow up hoping that The Force is strong in them. They're juiced on Star Wars.

The tests were carried out in gym class, for all to see. If The Force was strong in you, everyone saw, and you became a celebrity. There are many kids that had The Force but didn't know it, and the tests brought it out. This was inspirational fuel to future athletes.

Without this fuel, people like Brett Favre don't happen.

If the force was unstrong in you, everyone saw, and your destiny became band geek.

Winners got medals. Losers got nothing.

The tests were separated by gender. If you were male, your performance was judged on the scale of male. If you were female, your performance was judged on the scale of female.

The tests were diverse. The tests tested for strength, speed, endurance, and agility.

Tribal diversity is bull. What we need is skill diversity.

What do you call a fast man that can't catch? A cornerback.

What do you call a fast man that can't tackle? A wide receiver.

What do you call a fast man that can't tackle or catch? A sprinter.

What do you call a fast man that can tackle and catch? A rugby player.

What do you call a slow man man that can't tackle or catch, but is badass in intangible ways. A rugby player.

jaymaron 8 Apr 12
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0

I'm a sumo wrestler. At the North American Sumo Open, we were blessed by an appearance by Akebono. Akebono taught us deep sumo secrets.

Akebono is cool. At the party after the tournament, Akebono was a fun fellow.

Akebono is large. Akebono dwarfs Tyrus. A petty Democrat would fat shame Akebono. But Akebono's job is to win sumo matches, and he gets the job done. It also made him a celebrity. We were thrilled to be graced by the presence of Akebono.

There's a market for battles between large men. Sumo sells tickets.

Though Akebono is large, the ladies lavished attention upon him.

There was a moment when there were 4 ladies sitting on Akebono's lap. Akebono has a large lap.

Akebono kicked the butts of the other heavyweights in sumo, and then in the drinking contest, he kicked their butts again.

Akebono can outdrink a college fraternity.

When Akebono flies, he buys a row of 3 seats.

At the tournament, we built a custom chair, large and sturdy enough to accommodate Akebono.

When you become a sumo wrestler, you adopt a sumo name. Akebono was formerly known as Chad.

0

I remember JFK's President's Council on Physical Fitness and the tests. We were healthy little monsters 😊

@DMcCreery1956

Yes, Kennedy's fitness council is a success. Once upon a time, Democrats did cool things. Jackson was cool.

Johnson won in 1964 with a platform loaded with goodies for rurals, like the interstate freeway system. The interstate freeways turbocharged rural America.

Since then, Democrats changed. Now they hate rurals.

1

We've always had fat positivity. For more than a century, we glorified football linemen.

Wrestling and MMA have weight classes. There is a lightweight class and a heavyweight class. It's sporting.

Equality of opportunity has been achieved for both lightweights and heavyweights. Leftists can get over themselves.

And we have golf. Pelosi broke a political rule by fat shaming Trump. Pelosi did it fragrantly. Turns out Trump is ranked by Golf Digest Magazine as the mightiest golfing president. Trump has a golf handicap of 3.

In golf, anyone can prosper. Lightweights, heavyweights, youngsters, and fogies.

jaymaron.com/golf.html [jaymaron.com]

Basketball is unsporting. Basketball doesn't have height classes. Basketball is height supremacist.

0

Can't require gym anymore! We're supposed to be fat-positive now.

sqeptiq Level 10 Apr 12, 2022
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