15 26

I feel lonely as a "black" non-victim in American society.

I put quotes around black because I have always asked the question, what exactly is black? What does it mean? Logically, someone with darker skin tones around the world aren't the same. I am not the same as someone from Nigeria for example. We live in 2 different societies, have different living standards and different cultural norms. Just like White-Germans are different from White-Russians.

When people are talking about victimhood culture with college students, feminists etc., trust me, Blacks were all about it before it became the trend. Was there a period of time where there was racism or laws that were against black people in America? Yes. Were people able to still thrive in those bad situations? Yes. Are things significantly better? I say of course but I have asked this question to people and read all types of comments that vast majority of black people see no difference between now and slavery days.

I grew up around white people and at times black people. I was told by my mother at a young age that I can't trust white people but I quickly saw the hypocrisy when own one of my black family members would do fucked up shit or that I had really good and kind people in my life who were white. I have faced way more hatred and criticism from people who look like me. Terms like "Being White" or "Barely Black" come to mind.

One thing that has really helped to open my eyes has been when I started traveling and meeting people from different parts of the world. I would be in Europe, surrounded by Europeans and they would talk to me about being American and not being black. If I met Americans abroad, we would get on the topic of being black. This doesn't mean that they were blind to me having a darker skin tone but they are not race obsessed. Culturally, I am American. I have certain American ideals that are different. It was one of my favorite things about being abroad, I was an American, not a Black American or African American. This isn't about disavowing my skin tone or any internal hatred, this is about saying my skin tone doesn't dictate my personality or beliefs.

I have discovered that being Black in America is not a culture, it's an ideology. Race is first, no matter what. Majority of my life I identified as a Democrat almost as a default. I am proud to say that I am an Independent but I'm open to different ideas, even conservative ideas. I purposely went to Black Conservative and Republican facebook groups to see if there are other people who look like me but don't focus on it. Am I alone? Yes. They are PRO-BLACK, meaning, Black first over anything else. They could be hardcore conservatives but they still held ideology of being a victim inherently because they are black. There was no difference between being in an Left Leaning Black group vs Right leaning. Black first, no matter what.

I became a travel blogger and surely people who have seen the world and met people of different cultures like I have must think somewhat differently, right? Nope. Posts like "Which country likes black people?" and "What is the least or most racist country that you've been to?" were common place. The comments to them and the reasons for how they determined that they were racist were even more astounding. The constant statements like "When are you going to Africa?" or "Why haven't you gone to Africa?". Even better, you tell them you've been to Egypt (I haven't but giving an example) and they say "No, REAL Africa" meaning where dark skinned black people live as a majority. The questions directed at me asking "Where are the black people?" when I take photos with other people like there is a black quota. To even put more into the point, with COVID-19 it has stopped all traveling, so these black travel facebook groups have fallen into nothing but black victimology and of course anti-Trump rhetoric.

We have a legit plague within the American black community. I know that there are people of other races who suspect it and kind of know it but no one says it out-loud from the black perspective enough. The ones that do get defamed. This isn't even a rich or poor issue anymore, it is how a huge majority of people feel and they all eat it up for breakfast on a daily basis. They turn on social media to look at something that happened to someone, somewhere else that they don't know but happens to look like them as validation that they are victims but NEVER experience any outright racial problems. What makes it worse is that progessives feed into this by saying that we are all marginalized and could never be in a position of power because as a group we are powerless. Lebron James has more net worth than the vast majority of Americans yet he is marginalized? How about Oprah? It's insulting to insinuate that we could NEVER become powerful or successful. The bigotry of low expectations.

I started this by saying I feel lonely but I am not completely alone. I have a wonderful Black girlfriend who feels very similarly to how I do but even if she disagrees on some points, she respects my opinion and doesn't judge me.

I don't know if this is fixable. Being a victim feels good because it absolves you of any responsibility and you can blame everyone else for your misfortunes. If you're black and you're an asshole but a white person calls you on it, boom! Racist! It's the black ideological version of a baptism. Racism wipes all your sins away.

The real issue that people have is really about class, not race. Poor people in societies get treated like shit no matter where you live. Majority of black neighborhoods are poor. If they were wealthy, they wouldn't have as much crime and the police wouldn't patrol them. In poor white communities, they experience the same issues. Everything comes back to ecnomics.

BlackoutNJ 7 May 28
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Be part of the movement!

Welcome to the community for those who value free speech, evidence and civil discourse.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


BlackoutNJ Thank you. You are clear headed and your words come from rational thinking. I think everyone has an emotional tipping point where rational thought goes out the window. Adrenaline and anger seem to take over and everything escalates.

As a white male, I don't get any victim points so when I post anything on facebook my opinion not only has no value, it is attacked because I couldn't possibly have an opinion that has any validity.

I see a lot of people nowadays (I think more white liberals fall into the category I'm about to comment on) that want to help. They truly want to make things better . . . For black people. I have friends who are consumed with it right now. . . And they believe that their motives are all good. From my perspective, what they are completely unable to realize is how racist they have become. They don't see themselves as such because...."how can they be racist if they are trying to help the "plight" of the black people".

I do my best to point out that ANY time someone talks about skin color as a means of grouping people, whether intentions are good or bad, they are dividing them into a group. Dividing is dividing. Separating people by skin color is divisive, period. When someone is consumed with issues and continue to talk about those separations by skin color, that is practicing R A C I S M, well intentioned or not, it's wrong.

Thanks again for your post - love it.

Stop the fight and just unite.... should be on a shirt.

CoachD1 Level 3 July 4, 2020

Thank you


I don't care what 'race'/color you are. Intelligent people don't care - they are looking at the internal. I absolutely agree with you it is a class issue. And it is not race dependent.

Great post.

Thank you. I appreciate it.


Thank you for speaking your mind openly! I'm white and I've had thoughts parallel to yours. It's a relief to hear your opinion.

I am a transgender person (female to male) and I have noticed a similar "victim" ideology among parts of the trans community and the LGBT community. It isn't EVERYONE, thank goodness, but large parts of the community are obsessed with trying to make themselves out as the Biggest Victim. I used to get drawn into arguments about who was the most oppressed all the time.

I could write my own little essay about the stupid arguments I got myself into and the stupid people who I eventually had to stop talking to for my own sanity. (Maybe I will, but not as a reply to your post.) But the point I'm making here is that I can relate to what you're saying. And if you ever question any of the ideals of these people, they automatically call you a villain. I was called Nazi, fascist, gatekeeper, transphobe, racist, sexist, etc, often just for questioning their rhetoric, not even backing an opposing viewpoint.

Thank you again for your honest opinion. I just feel like the world is a little bit saner when I get to hear from people like you.

Wow thank you. That means a lot that people are relating to what I'm going through.

I think there is a huge effort to stuff the ideology of intersetionality down people's throats so they fight out who is the most oppressed. It's unhealthy. It forces us to be seen as children crying about what we didn't get rather than earning what we want. It's not empowering, it's weakening.

@BlackoutNJ Thank YOU! You started a good conversation and you write well! You're really engaging.

I hadn't heard the term "intersectionality," but it's easy to look up on Google. Good word. I'm surprised I hadn't seen it sooner. I'll be remembering it and using it myself in the future.

In the group I left, the conversations changed from "I was oppressed because of this specific incident that happened to me" to "I am oppressed because I'm a woman/trans person/person of color/etc." I don't know when it shifted from specific, real incidents to... sudden group trauma somehow? I do NOT understand it.

I agree with you 100%. I don't see this kind of talk as healthy and I don't see it as empowering. I also see it as weakening. It's a story that doesn't have any resolution. The goal behind it isn't to make anything better in any real, measurable way that I can discern. People just want a "get out of jail free card." If you're the Biggest Victim of All, then you can't be called a (blank)-ist or (blank)-phobe (fill in the blank). That means you win the game.

@RavenMStark You said it exactly right. It is a game that they are playing. Some refer to it as the Oppression Olympics.

What is even sicker is that the new upcoming trend of victimhood will be mental health. Don't be surprised when you hear "As a black woman with depression" to up the intersectionality score card.


Yes! All of my yes! I've found this myself in my own research into both sides. I get a similar treatment as a white goth/alternative person. Because I look like one of them, whenever I go onto the main social media outlets, everyone I meet there expects me to already fully agree with them. And, when I don't, they start trying to bully me into it. And the more I show I don't the more they try and bully me until I eventually leave. And somehow this is progress to them. I really don't get it. How is silencing people progress? I can see the right wing swing of the political pendulum coming and, while deserved, it is going to be ROUGH. No lube, just straight up forced insertion.

I'm so sick and tired of this left/right civil war. When will we just go back to learning to leave one another be and let go of the hatred?

It's interesting to me because the left/right civil war has been heavily one sided. I want to say that post gay marriage being passed, there has been very little pushback from the right other than normal politics. I find the republicans have been more libertarian like with removing government from peoples lives and they care less about American cultural changes. The problem is that the far left is showing themselves as opposing American society, the right disagrees. The attacks are coming from one side and the right hasn't done much but roll their eyes.

I agree, at someone point it will be enough. We are starting to see a response from the right with taking down statues and I think this could be the starting point of the right coming back. We will see.

@BlackoutNJ My experiences are totally in line with yours as well. But I don't think pushing back is a good idea, it's just gonna continue the same cycle that's been going on for decades. It really sucks being aware of how much recent history just keeps repeating itself. The progress of society is so incredibly slow as a result. Yeah, sure, our technology has been having some good pacing... But society itself is still so utterly primitive in its behavior. I mean, I'm of the mind that we'd be closer to full blown space travel and life than we are if not for this constant shifting of first world leaders from one side to the other. It's made every policy claim they make absolutely meaningless. I mean, I know every politician just says whatever to get elected anyways (which is evidence of human corruption of democracy in my opinion, pointing to us needing a whole new system), but even the ones they want to keep they can't because of the constant bickering from the 2 sides. So we never actually see any of the really great things from either side get implemented and tested to see if they could actually work or not. That's another reason why I'm in favor of smaller, more compartmentalized government. Cause then we could see some actual positive effects and whole communities would be in more agreement. And anyone who didn't like how a community functioned could go to another that fits how they want things to function.

I don't know, it's all some big mess and I'm pretty tired of thinking about it to be honest. There's no more progression in that thought process for me as things currently are. Maybe during the political pendulum's middle swing we'll see some actual good things come about. I know I'm looking forward to it, peace times are the best times to me. ^-^

Democracy was created to enable people to take each other into account, but all it's become is a tool to further divide everyone. The right thinks their predominantly logical method is the best way and the left thinks their predominantly emotional method is the best. Meanwhile people like me in the middle have realized that both side of the brain are needed in order to find resolution. Leaving one out actually leaves people at a deficiency. Logic lacks the emotions to understand the aspects of caring about more than the self or closest of relatives, emotion lacks the logic to care about the cold decisions needed to be made to ensure progress continues forward. In my experience the left and right as they are currently just exist to try and dominate one another at different points in time. Why can't everyone just sit down and talk things out at all times? We're all humans, after all. We all care about this world and the future of it. There's no need to keep yelling at each other. It's such an unproductive method of going about things.


Adam, I'm white but you got it so right. I'm already a fan of yours and after reading this I can Honestly say, you are a friend of mine as well. This was the most intelligent post I have ever read. Like you I am afraid that our great american culture is on its death bed. At 75 years old I most likely will not witness the civil war but my grandchildren will. I wish your family the best.

I really appreciate that. I wish you and your family the best as well.


Can the news be trusted? We get news from the left and news from the right and the same story can be unrecognizable from one perspective to the other. It is our responsibility as citizens to filter out the thick BS from both sides and determine what is really going on. It is irresponsible to accept what is satisfying and look no further.

Discrimination happens to everybody sometimes in their lives. A Poindexter walks into a bar and experiences discrimination. A white woman applies for a job and gets rejected because the interviewer thinks a man could do a better job. Someone looking for a job in the 19th century sees a sign "No Irish need apply". A Jewish person applies for membership in a club but the club rejects based on ethnicity. There is no one who is discriminated against all the time.

Every community has its good and its bad. The black community has its share. There is no excuse for crime and violence but there are reasons for it. Black people are actively discriminated against. Black people are discriminated against much more often than white people. They are much more likely to be viewed with suspicion, much more likely to be profiled, much more likely to be discouraged from living where they like and can afford. If you are white, how would you feel if you were dropped in and all black area. Would you feel fearful, uncomfortable, unwelcome? Most black people feel this every day of their lives and it takes a serious toll. Change in the black community has to largely come from within, but easing of systemic discrimination would go a long way to a good start.

Pand0ro Level 7 June 4, 2020

"They are much more likely to be viewed with suspicion, much more likely to be profiled"

I think how you carry yourself plays into how you are profiled. People jump to profiling black people but if I walked into a store with a clean suit on, they aren't looking twice at me. If I came in dressed like I came off a hip hop video shoot, maybe I would be noticed more. Just like if a white guy with a ripped white shirt covered in dirt, holes in his pants and he looks like he's been up for days. Peoples appearance play into it, it's not always your skin tone when it comes to being profiled.

I'm not excusing or condoning profiling but we are told to use our best judgement in life. You take information that you have in your head and use it the best to your ability. I'm black and if I saw another black guy dressed a certain way, I would be cautious as well. If I saw a black dude in a suit, wouldn't think twice.

This has me thinking, what if there were a string of robberies that no one can figure out and it's because it's a gang of prim and proper dressed black men lol

In regards to systemic racism, that implies there is a particular system that is oppressing black people. I don't think that there is. I'm still examining this concept.

@BlackoutNJ Everyone is equal before the law on paper but not in practice. That's just the way it is. I am not pointing out the black community as anything special just like any other group. Many problems in the black community are of their own making. I am just saying that the making of part of those problems result from outside pressure.

@Pand0ro I hear what you're saying. I just think in this manner...if in the eyes of the law we are equal, then that is the biggest step to take. The next is insuring that these steps are followed. However, we can't turn it into a fishing expedition of claiming bias when there is nothing there but someone emotionally feels that way. For example, me getting pulled over by a white cop doesn't indicate systematic racism, I just happened to get pulled over by a white cop. Maybe I deserved it.


Your mother sounds like quite the woman. You are fortunate to have been raised by such a lady.

Thank you. My relationship with her has been up and down throughout the years. As I got older, I understood her more and she respected me more. We are at a good place today and I don't have any more animosity towards her about the past. Her history is just as messed up as mine or worse. She means well and she did what she knew was best.


That was beautifully said. Seeing a different perspective than always hearing about how black people are all victims was refreshing. Unfortunately we never get to hear that side. Thank you. Bless

Thank you Heather. That is exactly why I wanted to write it. I was just talking to my mother about it and she was a single mother with 2 kids and she worked hard to get to where she is. We were homeless twice as children and she got her degree when I was in high school and her masters years later. When we lived in Detroit she refused to send me to the public school. She made sure I went to a good school. She left detroit when things got bad. She showed me that she wasn't a victim. She could have easily sat back and taken child support and public assistance but she didn't. She showed me the value of working and inadvertently, the value of not being a victim.


You are using YOUR subjective understanding of this phenomena not a systematic understanding of what has happened "in general". Have you ever been around rap inspired youth? I have and have spoken to many. Many of them will admit the negative effects of Rap and Hip Hop. Many do get inspired by the criminal music and culture. In fact many will get hoped up on the music as a prelude to crime. Think about that.

Yeah it's not good. I'm not really surrounded by youth to really know besides by my own son.


Why are there so few middle class blacks that will not speak negative about Gangster Rap Black Culture? How come the poverty pimps like Sharpton and Jackson do not. Americas Dad, Bill Cosby did and went to jail for 30-40 year old me-too accusations all of a sudden. Class? People come here from the 3rd world so poor that it makes the most poor American Blacks look rich and yet make it without much problem by working hard and keeping their nose clean. This is real politics and fact.

Let me unpack what you said.

Sharpton & Jackson are not real leaders. They are profiteers.

As far as Cosby, he went to jail for a recent charge, not a 30 year old claim.

When I mention class, what I'm saying is that if you stay in a certain class, you get treated like shit. Let's look historically at immigrant Chinese who came to America. They were extremely poor and weren't treated very well in general. Now their 2nd and 3rd generation children are some of the wealthiest in the country.

Poor is a mindset. We've adapted being poor as a synonym for being black. This poor mindset has also led to poor group think.

You also make a good point about people coming from 3rd world countries and doing extremely well. This also includes poor people from the Caribbean and Africa who are able to come here and strive. If white racism was fully the culprit, it would affect them as well but it doesn't. I remember growing up there was a running joke about Jamaicans have 2 to 4 jobs. Hard work in an environment that rewards you for hard work will always be taken advantage of.

I don't think Gangster Rap is inherently bad in some sense. I'm not one for necessarily saying that bad music and television is the downfall to our society because they used to think Elvis shaking his hips was the end of the world and it clearly wasn't. Growing up I listened to some Metal talking about violence and gore at times but it didn't make me want to kill. I played Mortal Kombat, I've yet to murder.

I think the issue is when you have a population of people where 80% of them grow up in single parent households, the role of the father has been diminished and so these things become more attractive to you. However, I don't think it's the music that leads to bad behavior but it co-signs it.

I have a son that is 14 years old and I NEVER play hip hop around him. Sometimes I listen to it but I never play it around him. I'm sure he might listen to it sometimes but he likes other styles of music because of myself and his mother. Even when it's censored, I never thought it was appropriate for children. Just because they sensor the word "fuck" and "bitch" doesn't mean that you can't understand what they are talking about doing.


Love this !!

Level 1 May 29, 2020

Thank you


When I travelled around the states many people asked what we called black people in the UK. I said I don’t know but I call James Dell, Mick, Sam, Brian and proceeded like that until they walked away

hahaha great response


Thank you. A wonderful, thoughtful post. We would all be happier if took the time to see people's souls rather than judging them by their soulmobile.

Thank you for reading. I wish more people did as well but I'm not all rainbows and unicorns. There will always be reasons why people hate each other but we deal with individual hatred more so than institutional. With that being said, you should be able to accomplish whatever you want and one racist person shouldn't stop you.


I have talked at some length on these forums about the connection between racism and class. I will briefly go over it for anyone who hasn't seen my comments before.

Racism is connected to colonialism. This is especially true in the new world. Unsurprisingly when the Americas were settled by Europeans they brought their system of landed aristocracy with them. Where vast estates were less profitable as in the Northern U.S. trade and manufacturing tended to be more profitable and the system of "serfdom" inconvenient. In Europe where all the land was already owned it was easy to tie workers to the land. In a frontier society if you abused workers they could simply move to unoccupied land and be self sufficient. Racial slavery was the "perfect" solution to this problem. It provided a work force that couldn't escape the serf status.

There are other cultures that have made dirty jobs a matter of genetics in Japan and India for example. Severe discrimination is not always a matter of race.

There is of course a good deal of racism not tied to economics or class but the discrimination that follows from that is more akin to discrimination that unattractive or odd people face. Racism for profit however once established reinforced "real" racism because it had to be justified.

It is no coincidence that people compare the capture of the black vote by democrats to a plantation. It has proven to be highly profitable for politicians. You can even get the overseers to be black. It may be a case of indifference more than the racism of low expectations that keeps that system going. The history of socialism certainly is at odds with the expressed ideals of concern for human life.

Racism in conservatives is probably tied more to disgust sensitivity which the recent pandemic illustrates the evolutionary roots of. Certainly that is central to understanding Hitler's racism. I will not make a moral equivalence argument because the left doesn't believe in group selection anyway.

The ironic thing is that "emotional intelligence" is a barrier to solving the race problem. Our instincts strongly support a fast lifestyle for a easy but unstable environment. It sets the left up for the internal contradiction of promoting a highly organized slow life strategy while simultaneously promoting instincts that favor strong group identity. In the past religion resolved this contradiction but the new religion of equity, diversity and inclusion has schizophrenicly embraced it.

The reader should be warned that the technical language I use as it relates to group selection was developed by people that could be considered racist themselves. I personally don't care because of my own personality in which I'm highly critical of my own ethnic background. I have German and Irish parents and find the stereo types about both ethnicities fairly accurate. In evolution there is no good or bad just what is. Whatever the genetic heritage may be Civilization relies primarily on the abstract that is often in conflict with the "natural". That is the only way to understand religion which is the ultimate abstraction.

wolfhnd Level 8 May 28, 2020

"The ironic thing is that "emotional intelligence" is a barrier to solving the race problem."

Emotional Intelligence has also been wrapped up into toxic masculinity as well but that's a different topic.

"I have German and Irish parents and find the stereo types about both ethnicities fairly accurate."

There is something to be said about Nationalistic stereotypes as they can be tied into National Culture, which exists. This of course doesn't mean that 100% of a population follows it but there is a large % that do. I think this has more to do with learned behavior. Stereotypes aren't always bad especially in that sense.

"It is no coincidence that people compare the capture of the black vote by democrats to a plantation. It has proven to be highly profitable for politicians. You can even get the overseers to be black."

I've definitely heard that statement referring to the plantation. It's become profitable and also disingenuous on how they pander for the so called black vote. Hillary Clinton going to a south baptist church and she sounds like MLK in the 60s all of a sudden? Obama did it too singing old black classics. I remember watching the Democrat Debate in North Carolina and the pandering was on full effect. You could have had a drinking game with the amount of times they said the word "Black" and "Reparations".

The problem is that it's effective. So in effect, they are giving the people what they want...made to feel like the prom queen for a night but not realizing that at the end of the night they're going to poor blood on your head and you'll hear in your head that "they're all going to laugh at you" when you show up at the polls voting against your interest.


Thank you for the insight, good stuff.

Thank you for reading.

Write Comment

Recent Visitors 69

Photos 3,461 More

Posted by WeltansichtThis meme was shared to me [] []

Posted by jaymaronIn the Cretaceous age, 100 million years ago, when dinosaurs roamed, the Earth was a tropical paradise, even in North Canada.

Posted by TragicDogVideoJ.A.P. privilege: Sarah Silverman calls Caitlyn Jenner a "twat"

Posted by TragicDogVideoWalt Disney Company's profit model: talking animals and disdain of white people

Posted by warminster100Mandated Injections?

Posted by WorldSighChina's greenhouse gas emissions exceed all developed countries: report

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

Posted by WeltansichtJust got another 30 days from FB started with my sharing posting 5 step covid jab meme, then the censor and my rebuttal to their fact chucker and their link [healthfeedback.

  • Top tags#video #youtube #world #government #media #biden #democrats #truth #Police #society #money #reason #culture #god #hope #children #Canada #USA #rights #China #vote #racist #politics #freedom #death #evil #hell #conservative #communist #TheTruth #evidence #antifa #justice #liberal #laws #violence #democrat #community #racism #kids #climate #Socialism #nation #book #fear #socialist #federal #politicians #religion #crime ...

    Members 8,452Top