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Not even sure where to start! I guess my first question is - how do we go about establishing a connection to people who are so emotionally invested in their "belief" that they cannot seem to escape it? I think the only way to do it is to find a way to set up Cognitive Dissonance - talk gently, long enough and persuasively enough, to get the to agree to a proposition or a fact that is at odds to their emotional belief. but that is hard to do!

Leninsghost 5 Mar 2
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One very important feature of any good argument is to realize what the other person is saying, and to understand where it is, in fact, correct. The Cathy Newman debacle was an example of someone who completely failed in that area.

Respect is always a good point to start with.

@Leninsghost Well, it's all very good to speak of 'respect', but I'm afraid that won't communicate to moderns. They will see that as a feeling.
What I am saying is, "Ok, so here is your argument... "Accurate quote, with reference"." "Here is what I see as strong about your argument: accurate presentation"
Where I disagree is...

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I feel that treating the person with respect works well. I also realize that my opinion might be wrong. The problem with winning a talking point is that I miss the person. Finding common ground is essential. I need to make friends, not to have a token liberal, but to broaden my perspective.

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Rule 9: Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t
-JP

It's not a bad first step. But I think it can be given more importance than it deserves. If you mean "have some respect" as a general starting point - I would defintely agree with that. But the point I was addressing in my OP was that what if you are dealing with someone who is busily pushing a Point of view that is clearly based on an emotional and erroneous premise? What stretegy would you adopt to try to argue them from that position?

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As a husband, my first job is to listen. If we're hashing out a way forward, I'll talk about how I would approach it. And, if I see something that I think needs work, I'll question it and make an observation.

Of course step 1 is to have a relationship.

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That's the golden question, idk if anyone has an answer yet. Hopefully we find one here, it will have to be facts instead of insults,in a hope to grow the middle

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