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Question of the moment is; is it really worth dating anymore or seeking a wife on my part as a man (one of those obnoxious straight white men who is so buried in his own privilege he can't see a thing otherwise, he said sarcastically)? What with Me Too and "Listen and Believe," out there threatening to end my freedom and life if I so much as express interest in a woman, never mind take her to bed at all, what's the point? I don't hate women, but I certainly don't trust them anymore.

Modern feminism has ruined things as well, with its insistence on creating problems where there are none and constantly attacking men for everything, and I've little to no respect for that camp anymore. When it's degenerated into constant complaints about made up concepts like "mansplaining" and "man spreading" as opposed to addressing real issues, how can I take it seriously anymore?

Certainly, women have problems in America, no argument there. But in comparison to things like FGM in African and Islamic countries, white people being maimed, killed, and raped by angry blacks in ZA, and what's currently going on in Germany and Sweden as a result of their open borders policies involving Muslim migrants, I dare say their first world problems pale in comparison.

Again, I do not hate women, let me be clear, but I'd be lying if I said that my trust in women is at an all time low right now out of frustration and more than a bit of fear, I admit. Am I wrong to feel this way?

MaskedRiderChris 7 Apr 18
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9

It would be a bad to stop dating and stop looking, unless you're totally okay with becoming a cynical incel MGTOW with a pillow sex-bot for a girlfriend and the most epic video game collection of all your friends. You may not hate women now, but deciding that you're going to write off 50% of the population because you've decided that they're duplicitous sneaks is probably a pretty solid step down that road.

Of course, there are crazy women out there, but there's more good women. You know good women, be they sisters, your mom, or friends, so your fear is probably coming from your lack of confidence in picking a good woman. The simplest solution would probably be to get down to brass tacks on the first date: where are their values in politics, religion, etc.; that would be a significant screening process. And as has been mentioned already, abstain until you're married.

Remember what women are and remember what men are. Neither of us are perfect, but most women are not any more likely destroy your life through feminist ridiculousness than you are to go on a rape spree around town. The idea of deciding not to date because crazy feminists are a things would be just as wrong-headed as a woman deciding not to date because abusive rapists exist.

Remember that we're all people who are struggling in a broken world. Extend charity toward your fellow travelers and don't assume that they intend the worst, be they man or woman.

@Sabercatt27

most women are not any more likely destroy your life through feminist ridiculousness than you are to go on a rape spree around town.

Hahaha, great line.

Sensible response.

A man can be perfectly fulfilled and happy without a woman in his life.

8

Can only imagine what a mine field dating is these days. With the #metoo movement and academia supporting the view that white men in particular are toxic, you are right to be cautious. An increase in annual laws suites in sexual discrimination and harassment are on the rise.

Of course, I believe there are good woman out there, do not know what your age group, or the social circles you inhabit. So generally speaking, would opinion, that you really get to know someone before getting into a sexual relationship. And if you do exercise, ' the get it, forget it mentality' as someone suggests here, be very sure it is with an adult consenting female - am not just referring to age alone, but also mental maturity.

There are feminists out there, that absolutely defend men against this victim hood mentality, promoted indiscriminately by special interest groups to young impressionable females and older ones easily swayed. My favorite 'old school feminist' who solidly defends men, is author, professor and artist, Camille Paglia. Think you can generally trust what she has to say about it, because as she describes herself as old school transgendered, (think she means gay, lol), and not into men, in that way. Just pretend she is a Ben Shapiro, in the sense that she speaks with machine gun speed and it might be off putting at first. Suggest you watch her and Peterson vid, she is more vocally moderate in that one. There is also Louise Manzanti, a psychotherapist and sex therapist, who's more dulcet tones, might be more pleasing to your ear.

Am a straight female, who is pro-feminism, in the sense of belonging to females who are interested in men and understanding their our own power in the male/female dynamic. There are toxic men, of course, look at some of the samples you cite, but there are also toxic women.
We really need to get back to supporting stable relationships, which takes commitment, hard work, but ultimately is so very good for us and society - so don't give up, just be mindful.

5

I don’t blame you, MaskedRiderChris. The behaviour of many of the sisterhood has me cringing, and I feel like I have to apologise to every bloke I meet now.

Feminism had its day when there were real battles to be fought (like having to give up your job when you got married, your husband’s signature on your passport - (Australia)), but those days are long gone. The real fight now is global, namely the subjugation of women by a growing tide of Islamic fundamentalism, but yesterday’s amazons are today’s kittens on that front: that’s a really tough battle that requires real guts and real women. It’s easier to pretend to be victims and blame men for imagined slights than it is to stand against an abusive ideology.

Good luck in your search. Try to meet people in places and forums for like-minded people, is my advice. And be friends first, lovers second.

@MaskedRiderChris I’ll have to look up this Andrea Dworkin - American? Sounds like a piece of work. All I know of from over there is Big Red (from Red Pill movie fame). Our side of the globe has a couple of foul-mouthed pea brains in the public space, referred to as social commentators. Respectable title for social retards, in my view.

@MaskedRiderChris, unfortunately Daisy is another one now not on fb, and relying on a YouTube channel, I think. I’d hoped I’d see her on this platform.

4

I think deep down women still want the same things they have ALWAYS wanted, which is a man who is strong, loving, supportive, kind, and fun to be with. When they talk of things like toxic masculinity, it can be off putting for a man, but it's just that we now have a name for something which has always been there, the type of domineering and overly competitive dominant man with maybe too much aggression. If you let your anxieties about the current climate get the better of you, you may be slightly on the defensive or fearful when you interact with a woman, and I think that will be off putting for a woman who might sense something guarded about you, not totally genuine. The best thing is to be witty and charming, women do like that, and not sexually forward, because women usually don't like that! Most women I know we'll still like men and want relationships in the same way they did before all the current hysteria... and as a gay man I speak with some authority because my female friends are extremely frank with me about what they do and don't like about men.

4

I've been a divorce lawyer for nearly 40 years and married for 45 years. I have some experience with the topic at hand. The nuclear family is the core of a properly functioning society. We, as a society, are doing a pretty good job of damaging that stablilizing institution. The consequences of that damage have been apparent for a long time (increase in illegitimate births, fatherless homes, fewer marriages, more divorces etc). none of this is good for us. I get the concern men have when it comes to dating. Heck, I'm reluctant to get in a elevator if there is only one woman aboard. We've all seen the catastrophic effect of an unsubstantiated allegation of sexual impropriety. It remains my belief that there are more men and women of good character than bad. The benefits of a committed long term monogamous marriage are huge. Worth the risk. I would encourage everyone, who is so inclined, to seek out a life partner and make it work (it aint easy).

4

Find a woman, remember you are only looking for one, who shares your values and you will be insulated from this. I am going to get prudish here but wait until you know her values and views before you take her to bed. Better yet, wait until you are married to bed her. My wife and I knew each other for years and we waited until marriage to be fully intimate physically but our relationship was founded upon the same core values and morals. There are still many amazing single ladies out there looking for a responsible moral mate to start real, long term, relationships.

So yes, marriage is still worth it and you owe it to yourself and your future spouse to keep looking for the right person in the right way so that you can be part of a unit that is the most fundamental in society, a family headed by a husband and wife as equal partners with the same or substantially similar goals.

I wish you well on your search.

Marriage as the answer, is becoming more and more obvious. Signed, certified and publically avowed consent form, historically affirmed since the dawn of civilization.

3

As someone who was just in the dating world a few years ago… Bear in mind that your frustrations and fears change who you are as a person. Philosophically, are you the person that you really want to be? Are you currently the kind of person that—if you met the woman of your dreams—- she would be attracted to?

I mean this completely in kindness : “Sometimes you need to unlearn life’s lessons.” (That is my quote). I have been bitter, I have been jaded, and I learned to let it all go and regain my innocence. I’m not saying be foolish and trust everybody… I’m saying you need to renew your heart and be open to love and trust or else you aren’t going to ever find the woman that you want.... because I’m pretty sure that in your imagination she has a loving and open heart, right? She would never write the post that you had written above? Your feelings are not wrong, but maybe they aren’t helpful to your happy life either. I wish you luck in finding your mate.

3

Nearly 30yrs ago I took a young lady I was seeing at the time over to my parents house to do the intro thing.
When we left she told me in no uncertain terms that she found it offensive that I would open a door for her. That was the end of that relationship!!
BUT the real problem was that she had only recently graduated with a teaching degree and had started working in the Victorian state education system which was and is rife with this kind of garbage. It is now starting to bare some very ugly fruit!!!!!

3

Be honest with yourself as to what your goals in a partner and remember relationships are not alway's 50/50. Thay can't be. Be up front and honest about who you are with women you date nothing will turn off a liberal women faster then a honest strong man.

2

It's all a matter of taking time to get to know the person, before having too intimate a relationship and making a commitment. I was young, and stupid when I met my first wife. We dated a year, and were engaged for a year before we got married. Through those two years, as I look back from an older and wiser standpoint, I realize there were repeated warnings signs telling me to flee into the night and never look back. As you get to know a woman and if signs pop up telling you to run then....RUN!!!!!!!!!!! Otherwise get to know her a little better.

My wife now and I were friends for 8 years before we discussed anything more. If she should pass before I do I know I have had the best marriage I could hope to have in this life and end out my life waiting to see her in the next.

Good luck, and God Bless!

2

We live in a capitalist society. Capitalism breeds hierarchy and privileges the professional class. Under capitalism, that class forges its values in the workplace and then attempts to extend them to the rest of society. We also have a history of patriarchy. The result is a system that perpetuates the existing power differential in favor of men over women in society while encouraging individuals to internalize and correct that disparity as if it could be managed away by a cultural Human Resources using anarchic communication platforms like Twitter as its mouthpiece. Never mind that there are less such power dynamics outside the workplace.

Yes, that inequality makes many interactions between men and women ethically problematic, particularly casual sex. The hubbub over Aziz Ansari a while back really made that clear to me. But it's not up to you to solve that systemic problem. Moreover, from my experience, most women are not as radical on these issues as you might expect. The best you can do is recognize the problem, try to communicate well with women, be understanding of marginalized people who adopt the "cultural HR" approach, and support systemic measures that would create a more equal society. Or you could just retreat to traditional values, but wouldn't that be counterproductive if you truly value the freedom women have gained here?

1

I have been married twice, for 28 and 20 years respectively. The first marriage was hell, but I was committed to raising my kids. When the youngest turned 18 I left. The 20 year marriage is working out pretty well. If I were single again I would rent rather than buy, if you take my drift. It's safer both financially and emotionally in the long run.

1

It makes me glad that I have been married to my best friend for going on 33 years. If I were to suddenly find myself single I don't think I would look around for another woman. That being said, I would recommend going for it, but get to know her values well and make sure they match up with your own, and I would suggest even politically. This is a little simplified for a complex issue, but I wish you well in your search for a life mate.

1

HA! HA! I originally posted my first comment on the wrong post. Totally out of context to that fellows post. Glad I realized it right away

1

I believe there are women out there who want the traditional home, children, and loving husband. I thought my daughter would never find a man that shared her values but she recently got married to a good guy she met on Match.com. I suggest the dating sites because you can filter the ones that obviously don't fit. I don't believe we are meant to live alone into old age.

I've been married 36 years and I chose my husband on the basis of three things: Would he be a good husband? Would he be a good father? And Would he be a good provider? I was sure about the second and third; the first, not so much but he exceeded my expectations as a husband. Lesson to be learned: Don't have such high expectations. Marriage isn't being crazy and foolishly in love, that's not what makes a successful marriage. It's that deep committment to each other. Honoring the good points and living with the bad ones. It's being willing to hold on even if it looks hopeless because it rarely is hopeless. Love is a decision; it's not an emotion.

I'm not sure if I helped you or answered your question. I believe strongly in marriage and family. It's the foundation of our society. Without marriage and family our society fails. The breakdown of the family has had a devastating effect on America.

1

Yes and no. It's always wrong, in my view to seek a wife, or husband. But seeking friendship WITHOUT an agenda, just friendly, on both sides, women meeting men, men meeting women. In many ways, I believe relationships, nevermind marriage are hard to navigate. We've been navigating now for 47 years, and there are tough spots.
It's wonderful ALSO, ...but not at those times. By making friends, you learn a lot, don't get hurt, don't invest.

1

I think we need to remember there are a lot of women who aren't like those loud ones you see and hear. Go back to disgracebook and look for the feminist threads. Most of the pushback on modern feminists is by women. NO group based on immutable attributes are purely evil or purely good. We talk about the ones we consider evil and then think those represent the whole group. The best evidence that feminism has gone too far is the women bashed by feminism. You fought for a voice--fought so every woman could have a voice. Why are you now fighting to silence the women who stand up and disagree with you? Both voices are the product of your victory. Congratulations. Celebrate!

There are truly terrific women out there, and we are all designed for human connections. There's nothing wrong with getting that connection through pair-bonding. In fact, it can be great. You just can't take shortcuts.

1

My advice is to get to know a person well enough to anticipate the ending of their sentances and be correct 90% of the time. It's easiest to have a lot of friends but casual dating works too. But hands off for a good while (which is why friendship is best).

I know women exist that wouldn't jack you over but...there are not as many as there should be.

1

Dating is still relatively safe, but be extremely careful beyond that. Any appearance of a "relationship" e.g. cohabiting, shared bank accounts or credit cards or co-signatures on any legal documents, shared pets, even electronic communications depicting common objectives can all be skewed to look like commitment.

My advise.. date as much as you want. Do not move past dating until you are sure you to wake up with that person every morning for the r e s t o f y o u r l i f e. That doesn't prevent disaster but it would a least justify the bullshit your ex-partner and the court systems can put you through.

I'm lucky, one wife, 3 beautiful kids, -$60K, free agent. (Thought I'd bought one - turned out to be a lease - now I just rent)

0

Yeah, probably best if you're on your own - for both parties concerned lol. I think this is how a person can feel when you generalise, there are as many men as women who make false allegations and lie; so you need to get to know the individual, then decide whether you can trust her or not. Feminism is about empowerment, it's not about ruining things; I feel equally impassioned about empowering all people, it's not just a gender thing, it evolved from female oppression for sure, and like you say, this still continues in third world countries and everywhere, so there needs to be a continual movement, until we get it right for everyone, sometimes this means going round in circles or backwards too, to get to where we need to be, it's all progress however it looks in the here and now. No one would disagree that third world countries have it harder, but we are born where we are born, and for us, this means paving the way for all.

0

Great news! Feminism and male supremacy died in 2019 when gender became a self prescribed doctrine. I felt an immediate wave of relief on 1/1/20 when I realized I would no longer hear about, a wage gap, feminism, me too, etc. since those are based on binary genders which no longer exist. Racism is going to end in 2020 as skin color and ethnicity will also be determined as mere social contructs. Yay!

0

MaskedRider Chris, I relate quite exactly to your outlook. I've researched to find there are two physical differences between the female and male brain construction. Two elements of difference in how our brains are built exist. Neither is necessarily more intelligent, but those differences bring unquestionable alterations in HOW we process thought. Commercial advertising leans toward making women the target because they supposedly spend more than men. Listening to commercials (especially radio), they portray men as being dull, slow, lazy, while women are portrayed as bright, sharp, emotionally up. The courts place men in the mud and women on a pedestal. Women are supposedly the only ones who are able to raise a child (especially in the eyes of social services and courts), that has been proven false countless times, though it's still held as a standard belief. Connecting in relationship can become very very costly in a number of ways. In California years ago, women marrying a few times became setting up her future for early retirement. Divorce had become an industry making some people quite rich.

0

Get clear verbal consent before attempting to participate in any horizontal folk dancing and you should be fine.

0

Yes. Even if it ends up destroying you leaving you penniless living on the street being sexually abused by foxes every night, what else are you going to do with your life. You either breed or you go extinct, any risk is worth the reward.

What else will you do? If you have a project you are doing that consumes your time and energy then maybe not otherwise what else is there. Are you just going to hoard your money like a dragon and die alone, what is the point, that's more pathetic than ending up divorced.

0

It's becomimg a fairly common opinion. I hear it more & more as time goes by.

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