Mike Bloomberg to buy ad space in your dreams-
[thefederalist.com]

After a lackluster debate performance this week in which Mike Bloomberg looked like Sonny Corleone without an EZ Pass, his campaign has launched a bold new ad campaign. But this time the former New York City mayor won’t be on your television, or smart phone, or in skywriting, or tattooed on an Instagram influencer’s neck, he will be in your dreams.

According to a source close to the campaign this cutting edge technology became available owing to Bloomberg’s close ties with the communist Chinese government. Although details about how exactly dream influencing advertising works are scarce, it is believed that sonic pulses from electronic devices create concrete narratives once a person reaches a state of full REM.

The challenge for the dream ad designers has been to determine what “experiences” with Mike are most likely to result in the dreamer deciding to cast a ballot for him. Several versions have been tested, one in which Bloomberg is your grandfather on your 16th birthday and gives you a bright red Tesla. In another you play chess with Bloomberg. You lose, but he is very gracious about it.

“We want people to wake up thinking, Hey, that Mike Bloomberg, he’s my kinda guy, I’d like to grab a salad with no dressing and a veggie shake with him,” one campaign aide said.

Ad designers told the Federalist that they focus on authenticity, one said, “to really get that dream like quality we put a swimming pool in the living room, or for some reason that weird kid you knew in high school is there.” Some racy ads involving Bloomberg in the bedroom were tested but according to sources, “that didn’t go well.”