You can break off contact with someone but that does not end the "relationship" in the broadest sense of the word. Your relation to a former partner may be historic in nature but is ever present in your life and at no time should you discount your own ability to use technology to defend what is important to you. There is no part of that which dictates specific actions on the part of either party but arbitrarily telling someone to avoid arming themselves because they want another go at a relationship that has included physical or emotional abuse is categorical, paternalistic, and ideological in nature. TL;DR grow ups should all be competent in the use of defensive technologies like firearms and having that option under any life threatening situation is a positive.

@Lexicon [theconversation.com] - Its Australia but, from looking at legal sites state side, the claim to self defense for a domestic abuse situation is complicated and not likely to go well for the woman. Further, if a relationship allows a partner within a gun's zone of control, it is likely that that gun has a good chance of being a detriment to the woman's life instead of helping (hence the often cited stats). Even in this rotten situation, the woman has a responsibility to avoid killing her partner by leaving the relationship.

I'll respectfully disagree with you.

We were at a friends house (quite a few years ago now) and the persons ex- rolled up with a firearm and got out of their vehicle and came running up at us. I pulled my 9mm and leveled it at him. Should I have immediately fired? Dude stopped cold and quite frankly dropped his firearm and started to run, when I said "STOP!" and waited for the police (who the friend ran inside and called, this was before ubiquitous cell phones) .

I still had to kiss the dirt while wearing bracelets when the cops got there, but the 20 minutes of discomfort for me, the 3 years in jail for the other guy, and no one having more damage done than dignity was better than killing someone just because I'd drawn. If he hadn't stopped, would I have shot him? Damn straight I would have. I was about 1/2 second from doing so when he dropped his.

I'm not typing any of this for bravado, it's just to point out that a firearm in the hands of a civilian stops 2+ million crimes a year from happening and most of them end just like mine did. So, saying you're gonna shoot every time you draw is disingenuous at best, and downright scary wrong at worst. You need to look into what is known as the "force continuum" (and we're not talking Star Wars here) as far as to when to escalate and when to de-escalate.

A person being harassed in a domestic violence situation should absolutely be capable of proffering their foe an overwhelming amount of violence back, to make the bully take pause, and, most likely, back down and go away.
A piece of paper doesn't do any good when they are beating you up or going to take your life. Sorry. But that's reality.

@RobBlair, that study has been shown to be severely flawed, please look around on the web, there's a lot of discussion on it. I'll just add that from personal experience, firearms in the hands of someone who is determined to use it will deter violence from a violent ex. Not just the above personal account of mine, but from many other instances where I've taught basic firearm training to people who had abusive ex's still stalking them. You can talk all you want about "leaving the relationship" but even though YOU may leave, your ex may not leave you alone.

@Paisley_Pirate Excellent post! Glad it worked out for you. Totally agree with getting a gun after you have taken steps to leave the relationship. The fact that the person is an ex would make the situation clear enough for me as a juror. [usconcealedcarry.com]