Well I've been up since 3:30am, reading what people post about their lives and decided to do some reminiscing myself. Taking a bit of a look back on my life. I know I should wait to do this for New Years okay...I decided to do it now and avoid the Christmas rush. Byte me!

I started looking back on my formative years. Realizing early on the bs I was being fed and enjoying the sweet ironies I then took for granted. Like all the religions my mother was force feeding me. 40 different versions yet each claiming to be the only one to give wisdom. Yeah right. Knowledge is knowing that a Tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing you don't put it in a Fruit Salad. Yeah I know I never really grew up I only learned how I'm supposed to act in public. Not that I do mind you! Thinking about my mom and enjoying the fact she never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. I think the only reason I was given a middle name was so I would know when I was really in trouble! Mom used to say to me "Dont act like that...God is watching you!" so I told her "Ever think I act the way I do so I can be entertaining then!" Then I asked..."So if god doesnt know about priests molesting kids do you really think he watches me masterbate?" I don't remember a thing after that.

Being young, like all of us, I came to appreciate my body parts early on and learning about them. (You dirty minded pervs you) For example, I learned early on that the shinbone is the perfect device for finding furniture in the dark while toes are perfectly made to find their feet in brightly lit rooms. Useless information you say? No information is useless. Information like...you do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you plan to skydive twice...is very useful don't you think? I thought you might. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Women don't hit harder...they just hit lower. Always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. Sex is not an answer, but a question. "Yes is the answer". These are important life lessons in my book.I have a simple philosophy...Never challenge Worse (it can always get worse) and Never try to outstubborn a cat. (You simply can't do it.) Not much of a philosophy i know but its worked for me.

Thinking back on my career. I spent 27 years in IT and I learned a lot. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing. Computers are easier to figure out than people. Too bad we can't just hit some people in the head and force them to reboot. If a "Bus Station" is where buses stop and a "Train Station" is where trains stop why did they call my desk a "Work Station?" Todays television programs insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. I hold up Facebook as a prime example. Speaking of television have you all noticed how they begin the news with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it is anything but?

This is as far as my musing go right now. I am sure I will wonder about more things later when I am more awake. But before I go I just want to leave you with some questions to ponder.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
If you've ever used the phrase "Quiet as a Mouse" have you ever actually stepped on one?
If you find yourself smiling in a crisis is it because you found someone to blame? (That shows management potential!)
If one careless match can start a forest fire why does it take a whole box to start a campfire?
Does this rag smell like Chloroform?