Hot dog eating contest rules:

Spectators watch and cheer on the eaters from close proximity. Partially eaten hot dogs count and the granularity of measurement is eighths of a length. Hot dogs still in the mouth at the end of regulation count if they are subsequently swallowed. Yellow penalty cards can be issued for "messy eating, and red penalty cards can be issued for "reversal of fortune", which results in disqualification. If there is a tie, the contestants go to a 5-hot-dog eat-off to see who can eat that many more quickly. Further ties will result in a sudden-death eat-off of eating one more hot dog in the fastest time.

After time runs out, the contest isn't over. Whatever you ate, you have to keep it down.

Democrats went to East Palestine to drink the water on camera. After they drank the water, the director said "Cut!", and then everyone threw up.

Make Democrats eat the food they cook. Make them sleep in the bed they make.

San Francisco cooks food and expects America to eat it. In the age of horse-drawn carriages, San Francisco had almost as much bullschiff on the streets as today.

Scam Brokeham Fraud made big money but then went bankrupt. Ponzi can't keep it down.

The show must go on.
Even if spice bombed.

The lady with the violin and the glasses is impervious to the spice. She chews the spice enthusiastically. She plays on with gusto, and dances like Taylor Swift. A glorious soldier. Some like it hot.

"I am Iron Lady!"

After the show, almost everyone fled to the safe zone of the curtain. The concertmaster stayed on the stage, and even managed to stand for a while before succumbing to the spice. He didn't crash and burn. He landed under control. He's like a glorious commander that raises his sword and leads the charge. This is Sparta! This is orchestra!

Wind and brass players give bigly training to breathing, and string players neglect breathing. Hilarious watching string players realize that breathing matters. Wind and brass players have this down.

Wondering if this impacts Norfolk's ESG score.

Norfolk spent big money on ESG and not enough on safety.

Bill Gates buys East Palestine for $50.

[babylonbee.com]

East Palestine property value collapsed.

Force Norfolk to buy the town of East Palestine, at a valuation from before the disaster. Force Norfolk to move its corporate headquarters to East Palestine, and force Norfolk employees to live in town. Build a wall around the town to keep employees in.

Bottle the water at East Palestine and force Norfolk employees to drink it. And Buttigieg.