I wonder what would happen if I bought a horse, dyed its mane and tail rainbow colors, then crudely strapped a horn to its head?

Then, I contacted all the news media, all my friends, and all the vets and was like, "Look everyone. I have a unicorn. You thought unicorns didn't exist, but here it is. This is absolutely a real-life unicorn."

Do you think the vast majority of people would be like, "You know, I was kinda excited when you said you had a unicorn but this is obviously just a horse with a horn strapped to its head and its hair dyed rainbow colors. What a huge disappointment. At best, this would be a trans unicorn."

Then I'd say, "How dare you!!!! Trans unicorns ARE unicorns."

Then there would be at least one asshole that would chime in with, "you know what, I see it. That IS a beautiful unicorn you got there."

And then a bunch of people would put their hand on their heart plate and be like, "Oh, that's so nice of you to accept this unicorn as it is. What a good person you are. Let's gather around you and pat you on the back."

Then more people would say, "You know what, that is indeed a lovely unicorn. You GO, unicorn. I see a unicorn, TOO."

And then the unicorn would be happy. It'd prance around and do that little back leg kick thing that they do. And then--in its excitement--it's horn would fall off, and I'd have to go over there real quick and put it back on while everyone pretended like they didn't just see it fall off.

But we all saw it fall off. Cause all the vets would be screaming, "See, I told you so. That's just a fancy-pants horse."

But it's not just a horse. It's a hornless unicorn that sometimes IS a unicorn when I want it to be and a hornless unicorn again at a time when we pretend to ignore it.