Everyone needs space at times. Having the ability to grow as an individual beyond the influence of your longest held relationships can be very constructive. Especially in time if you can construct bridges of understanding and mutual acceptance. I am 1 if 5. We take time off each other here and there. (6mo here,1yr there... each relationship is different)A call to say hello or i am thinking lovingly of you every so often will go a long way over time, in my experience.

I view it as a last resort but it does it depend on context.

Depends why. Generally there will be no better friends long term than your own family.

When my father died in 2014 my siblings just cut each other off, I'm 58 so oldish. The only member I speak to is my eldest sister, there were 8 of us. The reason just pure greed it seems my sister and I wasn't up to robbing graves, so to speak, so we are the pariahs. I've never been happier no drama and I never have to see my sour faced twin sister again.

Eliminating toxicity and abuse from your life is entirely justified. Only you can decide if the action is appropriate.

There's really no way to answer without the reason. If they cut up someone with a chainsaw, I would too. If you've decided to become a vegetarian and they give you shit about it, I wouldn't think much of you.

Three are no absolutes here. It's your choice. The only real comment I can make is that if you are posting on here asking for advice, you must have some doubts.

The nature of absolution is one of stillness.
How can anything change from a position of stillness.
To be still is to let others move.
Understand the riddle's truth and the problem will simply cease to be.
Understand that at the heart of all problems is an amount of misunderstanding that may have been accumulating for some time.

However it seems your instinct is pointing towards giving your family a distance to think, you're probably right frankly, all you can do from here on out is maintain awareness, and be willing to give them another chance one day, but I also beg that you do not condemn them when they fail, as they likely will.

That is highly contextual.

The most destructive and most damaging people in your life and to your reputation is at times your own blood.

Maybe you just need to detach and discover the world on your own without family impact. But to decide to entirely detatch for ever is premature unless there was horrific abuse
.

If you're rational, and have rational reasons...well, there ya go!

If you're a pain, you may be doing THEM a favor.

If this is typical of the way you make your case for things, you might want to examine how it's working for you.

Wow !! Man do I relate.

I detached from My family almost 40 years ago, I have some limited contact, But very distant. My wife can't stand it, as her family (here parents have now passed) was/is close. I won't say why I made my choices, and it would not help, Its none of you business, and you have to make your own decisions, and my opinion will add no value.

But I can tell you, to detach is to take a part of yourself and tear it out. It will hurt, and the scar tissue will never heal. you will experience loss and grief, you will never be the same. You will find maybe some freedom, but every day you will also feel the loss in some strange way, you will also harden, and your emotional detachment will also impact on others, I have been in combat, I have experienced a lot of pain in my life, and I still know that I have lost something, and my children know it too, I am always on guard. always expecting to be let down. I can't explain it, its now just part of me.

You of course must make your choices,, and you can build bridges if you choose, But you have a life ahead of you to live, and you alone must live it. We all experience loss in life - Death is part of life, Life cannot exist without death.

Relationships like life is personal, and yours alone to walk, But the path you take will impact you, shape you, decisions have repercussions, and you will be changed by them.

I cannot guide you, But either way survive, Grow, and be the best you you can be, That is all the advice I can offer.

I wish you well on your journey. Walk you path, you will find others who are willing to walk with you, others will not. But it must be Your path. Find it; walk it; live it; embrace it, you will never understand it, and you will never be understood.

Such is life.

Each of us must establish clearly defined rules, boundaries and limitations that one will have with anyone in their life other than themselves. So if anyone were to cross your line, as it were, clearly defined consequences must be carried out. That's called living by your principals, and it's easier said than done because it's you who has to do all the changing and that's work. At first it's hard work but it's always worth it and sometimes what you become can effect the very people you must be tough with now.

Keep your ties as tightly as they'll allow.

That's a hard one. It would depend on the reasons. In some cases you might have to do this for your own good. It's sad, but many family's have problems getting along, when family should try to support and love one another. Sadly it the rare family that is like this.

Perhpas do not step away with the idea that you will NEVER talk to them again. People do change and if they come to you asking forgiveness, or asking what's wrong that might be a good chance to resolve issues.

Contextual, as we say, you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

Position yourself into a career and then, find a quality mate you would do anything for, within reason of course. Go your own way. Take care.

I think it’s contextual. Every situation is different. It is always sad when we are separated from family but sometimes it’s necessary. I am estranged from 2 brothers as a result of a dispute over a will. Sad but life moves on.

You have lots of thoughtful, great advice here. I will add just one thing: someday, there will be few who know you from the time you were a child. Yes, there may be gaps in when you were together, voluntary or not, but they knew you as a child and someday, there may be only these few. Having that proof of your life, your existence and the effort you made throughout the years may be more important to you someday, so as many have said...step away through the door if that is what you choose, but don't slam it or close it. You may find it locked if you do.

I am only in contact with 1 of my siblings so I can understand..if they do not add value to your life or create discord its not worth the stress...I have no animosity towards them just cannot have them in my world.

You have a right to your own life. Just get it all out of your head also. You don't exist BECAUSE.

Whether its friends or family, if someone is dragging your life down, you need to do what's best for you.
No need to get into drama or catching charges if people can't be civil.
I had to do this with my uncle (maternal side) and even my father.
The worst part of cutting ties with my uncle was when my grandfather died and i wasn't by his side because my uncle (his son) was there.
Now my sister is about to give birth to her first, and since my father and I are on the outs, I'll be missing that also.
I have given both of these people many chances to own their wrongs and make amends but as of yet it is what it is, I'm not willing to stress my heart.
So I cut ways with the ones I have for my health and putting my wife and kids first.
I hope if that's what you decide you're able to stick to it, but be open to forgiving if they fix themselves.

Depends on why you did it. If you did it because your siblings think differently and vote differently, I'd urge you to reconsider. My brother has chosen to estrange himself from me because he mistakenly imagines that voting D makes him morally superior, and it is both sad and ludicrous that he has done so. On the other hand, if your siblings are demeaning you and undermining you, it is right and necessary to move on and disengage.

When things start getting messy with family or friends, I ask myself a simple question. Is my relationship with this person adding any value to my life - joy, happiness, friendship, companionship, assistance, emotional support, etc? Or is it subtracting value from my life? Can I live with that loss in value or do I need to cut my losses? (Sometimes we have needy friends/family who we enjoy supporting and encouraging, even if they have little to give us.). Case in point: while raising 6 children by myself, my mother never helped with anything (babysitting, anything!) but felt the constant need to criticize every thing I did. I just didn’t have the energy for the constant belittling. We did not speak for 10 years. After that she either got over it or decided my children had become decent human beings and we rekindled out relationship. I had to prioritize my responsibility to my children and my sanity over my relationship with her.