It all comes down to the understanding of marriage as a contract (for non-Christians) or a covenant (for Christians).

WRT CHILDREN
I believe if there are children, and one person takes the full responsibility for raising the children, the other person should take responsibility to provide financially for those children. If that means sacrificing to the point of living at a standard below what they are comfortable with, that’s ok; so are the children. Marriage is a commitment and so is the choice to have children. (If you have unprotected sex or if you adopt, it’s an implied contract; murder/abortion is not an easy out option) That’s not punitive, that’s making a priority of provision for innocent members of society who were harmed by your breach of contract.

WRT ALIMONY
As for alimony, it’s far more complicated than a simple “they should or shouldn’t have to pay it”. I suppose a basic foundational concept should start with the following: It should be paid if one party has been responsible during the marriage for financial support of the household while the other took responsibility for the care of the children and home life. I would also extend that to include ensuring the one who stays with the children receives alimony if the child support doesn’t provide enough income for that parent to stay at home with the children. As “enough” is subjective, the guidelines should be based upon the income of the non-caregiver. If a 50-50 split of what is left after child support places them above the poverty line then that is a good guideline. If not, the focus should remain on the one taking responsibility for the children while leaving enough for the other to s survive at a lower standard than the children. The one caring only for him/herself, should never receive as much as the one caring for the children.

If there are no children and there was no abuse or abandonment (no-fault separation), there should be no alimony.

They should both be required to attend some type of class or counseling that helps them understand that there has been a breach of contract and not just a parting of ways and these breaches of contract always come at a price. They are a lose-lose situation.

I lost it when they pulled out the pretend violins.