My experience has been that it really doesn't matter if someone knows what you are thinking if they don't understand it.  

I have talked of cryptic sexual conflict before.  Those evolved mechanisms that prevent runaway sexual dimorphism and in females contribute to "hidden" sexual selection.  Some of these processes are at the physiological level and some are behavioral.  For our purposes here it is useful to think of them as lies.  At the behavioral level it is important to understand that they don't rise to the level of consciousness directly.  At the conscious level we become aware of them as with other instincts as feelings.  That creates an environment in which they could be easily misinterpreted.  As with most complex, chaotic systems, complexity becomes the enemy of understanding.  In the social environment that means that the best lies are those the liar believes.  The result is that the normal methods of direct psychological interrogation become inadequate.   The lies only become exposed by behavior.   Interrogating the subject verbally is useless because they do not know themselves why they behave the way they do.  This of course would apply to other behavior than sexual but all behavior is indirectly linked to fitness.  

Females have a particular problem.  Reproduction is more costly for females than males.  They do not have the same problem of sexual access that males have since males are less selective.  Females still need a mechanism to both exploit male attentiveness and at the same time be impregnated by the highest quality males.  It's why females will have more orgasms with males outside the pair bond.  Orgasms are a way of increasing the likelihood of fertilization.  In most cases females would have no idea why.  Like males they are the servants of fitness.  At the conscious level cryptic lies make both males and females suspicious.  Suspicious not only of the motives of others but their own motives.  For males that means that they will be obsessed with the idea they may be cuckolded because of paternal uncertainty and for females that their instincts to reproduce with the highest quality males will be interfered with by the male obsession with paternal uncertainty.

Of course we do not live in this physical reality but the abstract reality we call civilization.  That adds another layer of complexity to an already incomprehensible biological complexity.  Not only can we not know why we feel the way we do but the culturally evolved complexity of civilization obscures those feelings and alters their meaning.

The point is that in the face of such complexity it is easy to be overly judgemental.  Mistakes are unavoidable.  We can easily forget the requirements of civilization and revert to the instinctual way of life. 

In terms of evolved religious philosophy and law you can think of the instinctual way of life as original sin.  The state of nature that is incompatible with the requirements of civilization or the knowledge of good and evil.  Nature itself is amoral, morality is an abstract creation that evolved to overcome biological limitations.  Civilization is a form of artificial eusociality that transforms the meaning of biology.

Civilization is a collective enterprise.  Fitness becomes defined by group selection.  Morality ensures that our instincts are redirected to the benefit of the group.  
The most difficult to understand transformation of physical reality that transcends biology and makes morality possible is freewill.  Without freewill there is no agency and by extension no human dignity.  Our freewill is of course limited by physical reality including sexual instincts.  Civilization is harsh.  It's requirement of a slow lifestyle at odds with the fast lifestyle that increases fitness in the easy but unstable environment of nature.  You can't just wish physical reality away.  Instincts have to be accommodated someway.  Marriage is one of the ways that culture has evolved to meet both the needs of physical reality and the needs of civilization.  For it to work instincts must be disciplined by freewill.

The foundation of morality is virtue.  Virtue is a meaningless concept without freewill.  Virtue is a choice not something granted by immutable characteristics. For example, beauty is not a virtue beyond what is created by freewill.  In traditional Western Civilization virtue is defined by religious philosophy that evolved culturally over thousands of generations.  Those traditional virtues are defined more or less by the following.

Chastity or Purity and abstinence as opposed to lust or Luxuria. Temperance or Humanity, equanimity as opposed to Gluttony or Gula. Charity or Will, benevolence, generosity, sacrifice as opposed to Greed or Avaritia. Diligence or Persistence, effortfulness, ethics as opposed to Sloth or Acedia. Patience or Forgiveness, mercy as opposed to Wrath or Ira. Kindness or Satisfaction, compassion as opposed to Envy or Invidia. Humility or Bravery, modesty, reverence as opposed to Pride.

Had we kept those ideas of virtue many of our social problems would not exist. It turns out that determinism or reliance on immutable characteristics is not just wrong but "sinful".