I go to the corner store and gets me thinking that all and all, I must have it so much better than my neighbors. Besides having a computer, a collapsed bed and actually a front door even though it can't lock on its own; at least I went to an American University, actually was able to afford vacas in Japan for a month when I used to work for an American company. Got to know the world somewhat and am pretty educated. I realize I'm paying a price for retaining my morals within a disgusting society, but it breaks my heart to think how the fuck they make it to survive. I know they try to break into my house at least twice a month, and that you will get stolen from as soon as you turn away. But that can't possibly be enough. Their hands and feet look like cavemen's. Mine are princess-like in comparison. I think me stubbornly trying to staty within a first-world bubble online affects my perception; but I can't go mingle with people I got nothing in common with. I may feel like I'm in some cage, but probably because I've seen the outside. It terrifies me to no end to consider what could possibly be like growing up in their condition and then for some cruel and sadistic reason being presented with what normal human life is like for people in the first world. I may get envious sometimes a.k.a. always, but that can't be anything in comparison. It really breaks my heart. Like, the tribes in the Amazon discovering the modern world wouldn't be as bad because they wouldn't be in a situation where it's somebody's fault that you have been cheated out of what could possibly be a nice lifestyle. It brings me down so bad, but I don't want to get distracted and forget. Letting go of such stuff is being complicit; but what can you do?
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