I am sick as well. Of police murdering suspects or worse, of a president telling lies by the bucket load, of heavily armed militias invading a state building, of lowering taxes for the rich and leaving 20 % of the population without affordable health care, of screamers for reopening refusing to wear masks, endangering other people, of shopkeepers who refuse access to people wearing masks, of outright bastards who cough/spit on other people, on gun owners walking the street with mass murder capable weapons, of internet media selling my personal data, of students screaming down everyone who does not support gay marriage and of people who complain but will not state their cause. And this is just a sample

We are waiting, smiling, and lubricating our weapons. Let them riot and burn their shit down... The"woke" will awake.

I think it's in part because the acts of demonstration and protest are rituals, rituals which have been (necessarily, perhaps) encoded as expressions of liberalism rather than conservatism. A more conservative ritual would be a "rally" which typically revolves around a central figure.

I don't know if you remember the Tea Party demonstrations after Obama was first elected, where people dressed like patriots from the Revolutionary War. These events were not particularly well attended, despite receiving widespread media coverage (because the dressage created spectacle). Ironically, we might consider those protests as a form of detournment, to invoke Guy DeBord, but a detournment of liberal ritual rather than of capitalism. (Of course, they were nonetheless recuperated -- again ironically, by liberal media). On the other hand, Trump's campaign rallies in 2016 were very well attended, and much more potent -- they actually delivered the White House to conservatives, instead of just polarizing the base.

Conservatives don't need to demonstrate, not so long as the polls are open.

Do not be ashamed for being who you are. Do not bow to anyone except your God. You are a sovereign individual, which is far more than being "a white, old woman" -- indeed, conceiving of yourself as a white old woman is to employ the categorizations of identity politics, which might very well be ceding the linguistic territory to your foes. Being a child of God should suffice.

You are not alone.