56 year old heterosexual woman here. Okay, so I like to think that I am progressive. But honestly, in the last few years, I have found that I am incredibly intolerant. I have literally, NO patience for todays youth. It seems to all be wrapped around their feelings. I have never been good with feelings to start. Add to that constantly being called out of my name for comments that have validity is stressing me the fuck out!! I finally just gave in and said "Okay, I am transphobic!!" Despite the fact that phobic implies fear...of which I have none. I am just tired of kids today thinking that everyone needs to hear about your personal life, personal preferences, personal phobias, personal decisions, personal lives...etc... Okay, so its the age of technology and apparently I am out of the loop because NOTHING is personal anymore. It should be okay for me to be out of the loop. It should be okay if I think that if a trans man wants to go into the ladies locker room, he should have lady parts. I mean, thats pretty basic. Right?! Not anymore! Apparently I am an asshole if I believe that if you look like a man, walk like a man, talk like a man and behave like a man...you are a man. Well, then...call me asshole cuz I just don't get it. That said, I fully respect those that actually attempt to fit into the woman mold and expect others to give respect for that attempt. I can call you a lady if you act like one. But you don't go into a game store for kids and demand the poor kid behind the counter call you "Ma'am" by yelling, cursing, demeaning others and kicking things. I mean, the threat level screams MAN to me. I mean, as a woman, why is it wrong now for me to be protective over the word woman? I mean, I have spend my life wanting more for women and it seems to me that trans are taking it away. Anyway, just wanted to say, I agree with you...in general...about many things, I like your message and you as a human being are very likable. I think it makes the gap seem a little less for old gals like myself.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My sympathies. I know some of what you are feeling. I have spent over 40 years of my life volunteering with the LGBT, HIV/AIDS, Women's, and Reproductive Rights movements. I have friendships with many Trans people going back to before when some of these activists were born. And it is driving me nuts.
I volunteer at a local LGBT community center and some of these Trans Activists are "sucking the air out of the room". A lot of people don't wan't to come to events because of the anger and domineering behavior of some of these people. If you disagree with them at all, or ask questions, they start name calling and demanding you be banned.
Additionally, a young transman who used to be my high school intern in a 501c3 that I ran a few years ago, went on a tirade about how if people were uncomfortable being called Cis-Gender then they were "Transphobic". I pointed out that maybe these people didn't know what Cis-Gender meant, and that anyone would feel uncomfortable being referred to as something they didn't know the definition of, so why don't you cut them some slack. Next thing I know, this person who I had had a warm relationship with was attacking me online, saying "don't you dare tone police me", and also being attacked by all their trans activist friends.
MacGuffin
Level 2
Nov 21, 2021
1
This here is why I'm glad I've been out of the loop from LGBT events and the community all together. for a few yrs. It's gotten too toxic for me. Although, online, I'm still in connection with some of them, but lately, I've been defriended by a lot of them on FB and instagram for simply having a difference of opinion. And I've noticed that a lot of people do have a different view of what cis means. I've had some try to tell me that it means you are straight, therefore I didn't need to say that I was cis when I said I was a woman. Well, I actually disagreed with that logic since I am a lesbian.
I would like to say your not transphobic as this word is not a real phobia. It is a made up phobias to promote hate. Also trans women don't go in locker rooms or bathroom to see women or children to expose themselves. But I do agree if you can't pass you shouldn't be in there. Most trans people are not the transtrenders you see on tv. We try to live quite private lives
Jocelynstrong
Level 1
Nov 11, 2021
0
I agree with this. It's pretty easy to see who is trending and who is trans. Most of my trans friends are chill AF about it. They don't shout from the rooftops that they're trans, because they generally work really hard to "pass". My MTF friends don't degrade other women, because they're women too. I respect that and try to return the favor by reminding people who maybe don't know any trans folks IRL that what they see in thr media and online is not a fair or compassionate reflection of all, or even the majority, of trans people.
I suspect that the people who make the most noise about being trans do so because they think it's interesting or they're trying to convince themselves through convincing others. The trans people I know IRL don't have to convince themselves of squat. They've known they're trans most their lives, even before they knew that others felt the same. That's their experience and I trust them when they tell me about what it's like for them. It would be almost impossible, though, to extend that level of trust or empathy in either direction if we threw histrionic temper tantrums and hurled insults at each other to get our across.
I ultimately think the issues we argue about in society won't ever get solved until we learn to speak to each other with genuine empathy (and not just virtue signaling), ask each other tough questions, and really listen to the answers without getting judgemental or defensive about it.
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