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Calling all women, trans people, and feminists. I want to open up a conversation about language that is being used to describe women.

I've seen women expressing disdain for the term "cis." I wanted to dive into that and see if there's a compromise we can come up with. I also want to open up discussion about terms like "menstruator," "front hole," and any other language you guys have seen out there.

To start, I want to give my opinion about the term "cis." I see the term "cis" as useful in transgender specific conversations. It's the same as words like straight/gay, male/female - just used to describe two distinct groups. However, I do NOT like the idea of telling a woman she has to identify as cis. I don't like telling other people how to identify period.

In most conversations in my life, I will identify myself as "male." The "trans male" identifier only becomes relevant in certain contexts, like in a LGBT discussion (to identify myself as a T) or in a feminist discussion (to identify myself as AFAB - assigned female at birth). I expect "cis" could be used in a similar way?

What do you guys think?

#women #feminism

RavenMStark 7 June 19
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Detransitioner here. I find the term 'cis' uncomfortable (and at times offensive) because I don't 'identify' with gender at all. Trans people tend to define the term to cover 'anyone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth'. In my experience, gender is a coercive hierarchy, consisting mostly of misogynistic stereotypes. It's beyond me why anyone would ever 'identify with' or willingly buy into womanhood, when the whole gender role assigned to female people has been used to control women, the roles we can in society, our sexuality, and so many more parts of our lives. I detransitioned because I came to the realisation that not 'identifying with' womanhood didn't make me any less of a woman - the only thing that is required for me to be a woman is that my body should be sexed in the way that it is. For trans activists to turn around and insist that, actually, I'm 'cisgender' because I 'identify as' a woman is firstly incorrect, and secondly pushes me back into all of the harmful and restrictive stereotypes of womanhood that I've spent my life trying to run away from. To be honest, I feel the same way when people ask me my pronouns, or worse 'which pronouns I identify with'. Lesbians and gender non-conforming women have spent centuries having our womanhood (and, thereby, our personhood as mediated by our female bodies) questioned and undermined. For someone to turn around and ask me to confirm my womanhood in the name of being inclusive and progressive is a in the teeth.
Thanks for running this - I appreciate it. Would be happy to talk more if you'd like to.

@merinaspic Thank you so much for responding! This is a perspective I didn't really anticipate and I'm really glad you wrote it out so clearly and passionately!

That makes sense to me that you would not "identify" with gender or with being a woman. You're very right about gender stereotypes and gender roles. You said it better than I can. That makes a whole lot of sense.

I have seen a lot of responses that say that trans activists are calling people cis or telling people to identify themselves as cis. I didn't really understand how often that was happening. (I do not have and hever have had a trans friend group myself and I don't partake in most social media.) I have a strong opinion about that, which is even stronger now after talking to so many people.

I'd love to chat more! Please share any additional thoughts you have. Send me a message too, if you want!


CIS seems to get used in a pejorative way, its an insult on your immutable identity. It's no mystery why women feel disdain.

@MosheBenIssac Thanks for that clear and succinct opinion. I think you're right about that.

I don't have a trans friend group and I don't use social media, for the most part, so I think I wasn't aware of how widespread the pejorative use of "cis" really was. I find that pretty disappointing because I think it could have been a neutral and useful prefix in certain contexts. But I'm forming new opinions with the feedback I'm getting from people. Thanks again!


I really dislike the term cis especially since the SJW's like to throw it around in demeaning ways when you try to open up a discussion with them. We didn't ask to be called "cis" and I really hate this term was thrust upon us as I feel it takes a way our identity and makes me feel like less of a woman.

Right now, I don't feel like this is going to be normalized in language because if you even say the word "cis" to anyone older than the millennial generation they are going to look at you like you have two heads. I certainly never use it nor do some of my friends in the LGBTQ community, but I also attribute that to the fact we are all over the age of 40 and maybe that has something to do with it.

I have no issues at all with trans men saying they are men or trans women saying they are women. If that is how you identify yourself, who am I to tell you what you should or should not call yourself. Although, in certain situations of course you should disclose you are a trans man or trans woman in open discussions like this, with a potential romantic partner (mostly for safety reasons) and with your health care provider.

As far as menstrual products go and making products more inclusive, I get it, people want to be included and feel like their identity matters. Sometimes it is just a tough pill to swallow as I feel like biological women are the ones who get short shafted every single time. But, from a business standpoint, it is all about money too.

RobynR Level 2 June 21, 2020

@RobynR Thank you so much for your honest and well-worded response!

I don't have a trans friend group and for the most part, I don't partake in social media, so I think I wasn't aware of how often trans people are throwing the word "cis" at people as an insult. I am really disappointed to hear that. If I happen to catch someone doing that, I'm going to tell them myself to cut it out.

I agree with you, how you've said it, that trans men are men and trans women are women, except in certain contexts, where the "trans" qualifier becomes important: medical contexts and romantic partners, as you pointed out! And for me, also LGBT and feminist conversations. I need to identify myself as a T, otherwise, I'm assumed to be a "straight cis man."

As for the usage of language, I think that language is a highly changing thing. 20-25 years ago, the term "transgender" didn't really commonly exist (I believe the term "transsexual" was most common at that time) and now it's a mainstream term. Will "cis" stick around? I am not positive about that. We'll have to wait and see!

Do you prefer the term "biological woman" to "cis woman?" From a trans standpoint, that's a little bit of a grey area. Some of my biology is in a masculine pattern, due to testosterone, and other parts of my biology are feminine. I don't mean to nitpick. I'm just giving a trans POV. "Genetic woman" would be a more accurate phrasing, but somehow, that doesn't sound as friendly to me. I've also heard "natal woman" used by some.

@RavenMStark You are right 20-25 yrs ago the term that was used was transsexual. This is when I was growing up and when I was a part of the NYC scene and going to primarily gay clubs, bars and drag shows. In my opinion 20-25 years ago the LGBTQ community was much more accepting and didn't label people's identities. To everyone I was a heterosexual woman.

I also think a lot of the terminology and labeling being used today is mostly done on social media. Now you have more of the "woke" crowd using identites such as "cis" for women and act like it has always been the norm. I hate to put labels on people, but I think in this instance it might help in my explanation. I find there are usually two type of people under this transgender umbrella and for the most part the people who transition from male to female or vice versa especially the ones who suffer from dysphoria aren't so quick to label and call women "cis" as much as the people who fall under the nonbinary crowd and I personally find a lot of them to be highly immature and quick to call women a transphobe if we don't want to use or accept the term "cis."

Personally I rather just be called a woman or a biological woman, but that is just my preference and I think a lot of women just accept it because they feel that is how they can be more of an ally or are afraid of being confrontational or even name called. I usually let it slide though when they use "cis" until they start getting mouthy, then my New Jersey comes out and they get an earful because I do not put up with disrespect.

@RobynR I love hearing about the experiences of LGBT+ people who are older than me! That difference in acceptance stands out to me. I've been called a "Nazi" among the "woke" crowd myself for the opinions I express and the questions I ask. And this is one reason I don't really have a LGBT friend group!

Your second paragraph is the most interesting to me! I agree with you that there seem to be different "types" of trans people under the "trans umbrella" and there seem to be different attitudes that go with these "types." Related: I think every group will have radicals within it. I wish people didn't take a look at the radicals and assume that the whole group is like that. It makes it harder to have sane conversations with people.

You make a really good point about fear! I think people are afraid to be thought of as a bigot or called a "transphobe." The word is thrown around too much and I get tired of hearing it. I think that if "biological woman" was the phrase used, everyone would know what that means. (And again, I see no reason to use "cis" outside of a strictly trans context, like trans health or similar contexts. E.G. my doctor told me my lipids would become "like a cis man's" from taking T.)

After having these conversations with people, I can make a vow right now that if I hear other trans people using "cis" as a derogatory term, I will shut them up myself! That is one major opinion I'm forming from all of this.


I'm a detrans female and I dislike cis in part because it simply doesn't describe my own experience as a dysphoric person. I would never use it for myself and would take offense to a trans person (or worse- a non-trans person trying to be inclusive lol) using it to describe me. I don't agree with using it for other people either, because you never know what someone's history might be- even if they never considered themselves trans, anyone can have a complicated relationship with their sex.

I like non-trans or bio-wo/man for most situations where a word is needed (see above) but a lot of the time, I find the need is artificially forced. For example, I'd rather just continue seeing "women" and "men" in things like advertising, because A) it captures the vast majority of the target audience and B) it doesn't draw attention to trans people as different. If, say, menstrual products were to advertise that they were for "women and trans men", that is no less triggering to my own dysphoria lol. Plus, most trans men do not use menstrual products on T (I did not either), so it was very strange seeing fully-transitioned FTMs in ads for them lol.

Imo, I think the attempts to come up with new language are often just people trying to avoid feeling dysphoric. Unfortunately, we often end up feeling dysphoric regardless, so it ultimately ends up just confusing and alienating other people, and not really making us feel any better. The word "vagina" made me uncomfortable, but "front hole" was, for me, worse. If someone personally prefers "front hole" then they can absolutely use it for themself, but the correct anatomical term is still the best thing to use in a broader context.

@sweetshark Thank you very much for weighing in on the conversation! You have a new perspective to bring, as a detransitioned female. I'm excited to hear from you!

I agree very much with you. I don't like telling someone else what their label should be. If someone wants to choose a word or terminology to use for themselves, I say let them use whatever they want. I don't have to agree with how they describe themselves and they don't have to agree with how I describe myself, but I will resent it if they attempt to put a label on me!

Like you, I am perfectly happy to see the words "women" and "men" in advertising and health documents, etc. I do not need or desire "inclusive language" in menstrual products, for example, for the same reasons you mention. Any groups who may be pushing for that "inclusive language" do not speak for me.

I identified as male for 10 years before I began taking testosterone. (I had a "social transition" - changed my name, clothes, hair, etc.) I was still very much a trans man for those 10 years, but I did have a menstrual cycle. It did not bother me that period products were marketed "for women" because that's just a fact of biology. I did become dysphoric when I had to use these products, but that was my own personal issue. I did not think any manufacturer or product was the cause of my feeling and it would not have mattered if they claimed to be "for trans men." I would have felt the same.

One reason that I wanted to start this conversation was that I think there may be some misconception and miscommunication between trans people and others about these terms. I assume that like us, most trans people do not intend to force women to call themselves "people who menstruate" or to say they have a "front hole" instead of a vagina. But trans people may use these terms to describe themselves, as you say, to avoid dysphoria.

I also have a question for you. Do you have a trans friend group or peer group? If so, do they use these terms the same way you have described or have you seen people doing something different?


I’m a trans man and I use the word cis occasionally. I find it useful for clarification during certain conversations. But it shouldn’t be forced on people. I have no issues with the word cis but if someone is uncomfortable with me referring to them using that term I find an alternative out of courtesy and respect. With the term “front hole” I’ve only ever seen trans men use that. I personally feel weird about that term. If I makes a trans man feel better about his genitals then go for it. I personally call mine my “junk”. With any sort of language like this, how I see it is say whatever you want as long as you don’t force other to use the same terminology when talking about themselves. Like just because I call my genitals “my junk” doesn’t mean other people have to refer to their genitals that way. Be respectful about other people’s comfort.

@AshtonB25 Exactly. Well said. Your POV seems to be pretty similar to mine. I am a "live and let live" person. I say let people use whatever labels they want for themselves. And I won't impose a label on someone else.

The only time I think "cis" really needs to be used anyway is in a trans specific discussion, to distinguish "cis" and "trans" people. This is the only time I've found it necessary to use. (Other than this current conversation we're having now, about the use of these terms overall.)

Thank you very much for weighing in. I have a question for you. Do you have a trans friend group or peer group, in person or online? If so, do they use these terms the same way or different ways?


Thank you so much. I hate when people say we have to say we are cis. If we don't like that word, we shouln'd have to use it. I just tweeted this out so more people can have a say, and I wasn't 100% sure if you're female to male or male to female...which is why conversations like this are important. I know trans MEN (FTM) who will call themselves male, and I know trans women who do the same. It has to have a more specific meaning in certain conversations.

@ariellescarcella Thank YOU! I think it's an interesting and important topic. I don't think women and trans people have to be at odds.

To my understanding, "trans male/trans man" refers to someone who identifies as male and "trans female/trans woman" is someone who identifies as female. In groups I have partaken in, this seems to be the most common standard.

I'm not surprised you were not sure! I have been asked more than once. But this is exactly why I wanted to start this conversation. I feel like there may be some miscommunication about the term "cis." And it looks like there has also been some unfortunate derogatory use of the term "cis" that is contributing to it. (Thanks, SJWs, for ruining what could have been very neutral, useful language!)

@ariellescarcella I am reading the comments on your Twitter, also! I don't have Twitter and I don't plan to make one, but it's cool to see people interested over there too!

If they come over here, I'll talk with them all to their hearts' content. 🙂

A topic for an upcoming video for you, maybe? (Hopeful!)


I use cis. but one of my friends dislikes it. with him I came to a compromise to use non-trans. to me its an individual basis.

I dislike front-hole
menstruator I am neutral on but seems to essentialises the menstruation a little which is de-humanising
person who menstruates seems to be more... accurate. it seems to rehumanise the people by making the maingroup human and subgroup who menstruate

but if women are offended by that it might be better to avoid saying it and say "women who menstruate" (which wouldn't include post menopausal women) and "men who menstruate" (i.e. trans man... pre-T?)

does that sound like a reasonable compromise?

@creamegg It sounds reasonable to me, but I hope some other people weigh in too. Your opinion and mine are probably fairly close.

I want to put this out there. I'm a trans man who identified as male for 10 years before taking testosterone. Therefore, I did have a menstrual cycle for those 10 years. It never "offended" me to see menstrual products that were marketed towards women. It never affected my willingness or unwillingness to buy or use products. I chose the ones that worked the best for me, regardless of marketing.

Likewise, the word "vagina" never offended me. I see it as a medical word to describe a real, physical thing that I happen to have. It's just the reality of the situation.

Of course, I can't speak for all trans men. There are some who seem to be bothered by the use of language. (Just as there are cis people who seem to be offended by the use of the term "cis.)

@RavenMStark I highly agree on the anatomy thing. Its just some anatomy you do or don't have. I guess in latin its gendered (vagina ending in a and penis in s) but in English that doesn't mean very much. I don't get why anyone thinks front hole is better? I also don't see anyone using it but I wouldn't understand if I did.

On marketing, tbh thats just capitalism. I don't mind either way. Products under the wrapping are products. I think the people getting upset at the removal of the venus symbol are just as silly as the people getting upset that its got it.

@Creamegg I also don't understand or like "front hole" to be honest, but I will respect someone's right to refer to their own anatomy that way, if they prefer. . . so long as they're not trying to force others to refer to their own anatomy using those words. -- Again, I don't know if that's what is happening or not. I've recently seen some women online say "my vagina is not a front hole" and I don't know the context behind that. I don't know if someone did tell them to call their vagina a front hole. I'm hoping some women will weigh in on that in this conversation.

Good point again about capitalism. You're so right. They will market their products in whatever way they think will sell best. I don't know much about what is happening with menstrual product marketing at the moment (I don't need to use these products anymore and I don't watch television advertisements), so some of the examples I've made are just from my imagination or what I assume to be happening. Is it true that the Venus symbol has been removed? I had not heard about that. Very interesting!


I low-key hate the term cis because, despite not being a slur, it is clearly intended as such when trans activists attempt to use it to shut down conversation. “You’re cis you don’t get an opinion!”

personally as maybe a tra and talked to many tras I don't use use it like that. I'm sorry it has been used like that towards you

@sssammisue This makes sense and explains to me why people have a strong adverse reaction to the term. I wish it hadn't been used this way because I think "cis" could have been a neutral and useful descriptor.


I'm putting this comment here to see if anyone wants to talk about the term "front hole." I think my context for this term might be different than others', so please fill in your own experiences.

The only context I've ever seen this term used was a trans man who was not comfortable calling his vagina a vagina and thus chose the term "front hole." I personally don't care for the term "front hole," but my philosophy on life is that if a person wants to refer to their own vagina as a "front hole," whatever. Live and let live. But if that person is telling a woman that she cannot use the term "vagina" and must say "front hole" instead to preserve someone's feelings, um.... No.

My question is this. Women, has this term been imposed on you by someone? Some literature you've seen, an advertisement, a group of people? Did they tell you that your vagina is a "front hole" or that you must use that term instead?


Men are men, women are women. Males are males, females are females.

Now, you want to qualify those that don't fit those categories nicely, add qualifiers.

But you don't change the root. You don't need to 'qualify' the root.

@tracycoyle Well said! Nice, succinct opinion. I agree.

To add to it, I think qualifiers are only important in certain contexts. For example, I see no reason why menstrual products should advertise that they are "for cis-women and pre-hormone trans-men" opposed to simply saying "for women." (Just an example, not sure if that has ever happened in reality but it would not surprise me, with how weird people are getting about language policing.)


You are awesome. Conversation, not yelling, creates understanding.

I am a libertarian. I believe everyone has a right to choose what they do with their own lives, bodies, property, etc. You have a right to refer to yourself as a man, a trans man, etc. I don't require of you that you preface "man" with "trans". Speak YOUR truth.

I always speak mine. The rest of this is mostly for other people. You and I have had these conversations.

"Cis" was foisted on women without asking if we wanted that tagged to woman every single time we're referred to in articles, blogs, etc. It was unnecessary that I add "cis" to what I am. It's also unnecessary to reduce me to being a menstruator--since non-menstruation in biological women is a signal of poor health, pregnancy, or menopause so its actually inviting an unnecessary conversation.

Many of these terms have become extremely dangerous to biological girls because it brings confusion more than clarity. A trans girl is NOT in danger of becoming pregnant but she can still get someone pregnant. There are already cases of girls who didn't think they could reproduce from "lesbian sex" becoming pregnant. Many girls don't understand you don't have to have full on insertion to get pregnant. Many also don't understand that even on hormones there are rare occasions where you can still get someone pregnant just like some women get pregnant on their periods. It's rare but it happens.

I'm not a mean person. I don't want people to have hurt feelings. I would prefer to NOT have these conversations at all but when Planned Parenthood is churning out materials that are so complicated to describe sexual health I feel like we've taken a nose dive into a 1950's era of sex education.

It is okay to have differences. It is okay to choose your truth. Instead of rewriting definitions for everyone, we should instead work on interjecting openness, kindness, and --I have to say--biological reality. Many younger trans-identifying people don't even know the dangers of early hormones. They think in terms of "pretty" (don't get me started on valuing women by appearances) instead of health. I watched that show on Jazz and thought her mom was a child abuser. This poor girl was given hormones so early she didn't have enough tissue for the bottom confirmation surgery. Her pain hurt me. Four operations to get it right. That's monstrous. Had they held off a little bit on hormones --do it at 20 like Blair White she would have enough tissue to not have to go through 4 dangerous surgeries.

I look at every child like my child and my heart broke for her. She is a sweet young woman who tries hard in school and wants to live her truth. She was brave enough to reach out and grab at that brass ring. Most of us never do. I wish her the very best... but I still think the adults in her life did her wrong.

Part of my life's advocacy as a feminist was to educate young girls in STI prevention, family planning, and the power of the word "NO". People like Riley Dennis and to an extent Contrapoints have tried to remove agency by shaming girls, telling lesbians they are transphobic to say "no" to a penis.This makes me feel like we are moving backwards. A girl/woman--hell, men--everyone has a right to say no for ANY reason. This shaming has to stop. These behaviors don't bring people together or create understanding. They just draw more lines.

In short I would rather just call you a man, me a woman and when a situation arises where our actual biology comes into question we have individual conversations without shame.

Beautifully said - I 100% agree.


You have a TON of great points in this post! Thank you for sharing. Below, I'm just trying to categorize and respond to what I think your points are. If I've inadvertently misunderstood you or if I skip something that you find important, please correct me.

  1. Women's Health:

You explained that women's health information has been diluted and confused due to the addition of trans women. I 100% believe you, I just haven't seen any examples of this myself that I can think of. (I live as male in long-term monogamous relationship, so I have not had a lot of experience with STI prevention literature or other women's health literature.) For my own education and opinion-shaping, do you have any links to that kind of thing? Planned Parenthood, for example? Thank you!

  1. Hurt Feelings:

This wasn't a main point of yours, but I wanted to respond to it anyway. The way I see it, someone's feelings will be hurt either way. If terms like "cis" and "menstruator" are used, it will hurt women's feelings. If they aren't used, it will hurt trans people's feelings. (Speaking in broad terms, generalizations.)

I'm just bringing that up because for me, it cancels out any argument a trans-activist might make regarding hurt feelings about the language. If I spare a trans-activist's feelings, I hurt a woman's feelings. One is not better than the other.

  1. FtM Detransitioners:

This is a point that is also a very big concern to me! I lived with "social transition" for 10 years before beginning medical transition because I wanted to be absolutely sure before I took hormones that would drastically, irreversibly change my body. I really do have concern for young women who might take testosterone, only to change their minds about being trans, detransition, and have regret for what has happened to their bodies. Testosterone is a very powerful hormone.

My opinion is that it would be a lot safer for women if "social transition" was more broadly accepted by society. That would give young people the option to experiment and live for a while (and grow up more) before making a life-changing decision. But that idea also opens up a whole new can of worms, I know (e.g. people needing to declare pronouns, non-passing trans people in bathrooms, etc.)

  1. Women Being Able to Say "No":

Like you, I don't stand for telling someone that they are a bigot because they don't want to have sex with someone else. In my opinion, it's not transphobic for someone to have a genital preference. People have preferences. That has always been the case, as long as humans have been alive!

I would love to see a move towards appreciating the beautiful variety of humanity. Some are straight, some are gay, some are women who don't want to have sex with a penis, etc! I don't know why we stopped celebrating differences and started trying to force all people to hold the same opinions and preferences. It doesn't fit my way of thought at all.

  1. Shaming Women:

I wanted to mention this as a separate point than above because I think it's a very important argument. I don't approve of people using the term "cis" to put down others. It shouldn't be derogatory! I don't like any argument that women are lesser-than. -- I just think you made a very good point there and it's worth remembering that in any conversation between trans people and feminists.

I agree with you about simplifying it to "woman" and "man" until the specific context arises.

My additional question is this: Is there a situation or context where you are alright with the prefix "cis?" Or is it offensive in every context?

@RavenMStark Once something has become a slur or used as a slur there really is no taking back the term. TERF will always be a slur. Cis now will always be a slur.

BUT even if it wasn't I am first an individual. My sex is Nature's lottery. Things like gender (which CIS is used to show how you align) tend to be less important to me than what books you read. Your choice of novels tells me more about you than what you wear, how you present, etc and I think judging people by presentation is very backwards and limiting. I would argue that if we go by the LGBTQ+ /GLAAD/HRC definition of gender then everyone is gender fluid and there is no cis or trans.

So much of our modern queer theory is based off of western culture and ignores the reality of 99% of everyone else.

Burqas in KSA, Yemen, Afghanistan etc cover the entirety of a woman's body. You see only her eyes, know her only as a woman by the outfit imposed upon her by her sex. By law, her sex prevents her from 90% of the activities men are allowed to engage in, prevents her education, prevents her legal standing in a court of law. What she feels like is inconsequential to their laws, what she wants doesn't matter. She's defined purely by her sex.

In Iran masculine women and feminine men who are same-sex attracted, whether they are trans or not will be forced to transition because of how they define sex. They don't even call it gender.

For me its actually LESS complicated to just not really think about things like gender or sex and focus on what that individual wants and my relationship with them. When it comes to me my sex is a woman and everything else wonderfully changes with each new experience of mine.


I do agree with you that an individual's character is way more important than any other qualifier about them. There are great people in every group and complete trashbags in every group.

But I think that group terminology and language is still important. You identify yourself as a libertarian and as a woman. These are group terms. They're just names for categories. I can accept that "cis" is considered a slur, but what other term should be used to qualify that category? (Again, I limit this to discussions about gender. I see no reason that this category should be brought up in anyone's daily life!)

You're completely right that queer theory as we know it is a western theory. We are westerners ourselves, though, and we're having western conversations, as I see it.

I really do agree that it's less complicated to focus on an individual and one-on-one relationships. I will judge a person based on their character, not their labels. But at the same time, if we're discussing politics, rights, policies, etc, these are big, broad terms and need big, broad language.

Is it still a slur if a group is referred to as "cis," opposed to a specific person? Unlike the term "TERF," there is a real, physical component that determines if a person is "cis" or not. Does that make any difference in your opinion?


Four years ago, I didn't mind the word "cis" at all - on my Facebook profile, I identified myself as a cis female who uses she/her pronouns. Now, I get lowkey triggered when I see the word "cis" - to the point where it actually makes me angry. It makes me grit my teeth because it's often used in a very negative context - it's kind of an extreme take on the "Us versus Them" mentality. Not all trans people use it that way, of course - my friends use it simply to differentiate the difference between someone who identifies as their birth sex and someone who doesn't. But a lot of trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming folks refer to "cis" people in a very derogatory way. I got called "cis scum" once for defending Blaire White in a queer group on Facebook. I was accused of "flaunting cis privilege" by saying that I couldn't relate to not identifying as my biological sex. I honestly felt like people kept trying to bring my to task simply for identifying as a female, a woman. I'd be lying if I said I didn't resent that.

@alexlgarzon Thank you for your honest and informative reply. This is giving me a lot of context I didn't have before. This is exactly the information I'm looking for. I don't have a trans friend and I don't in social media, for the most part, so this kind of thing is outside of my current scope of knowledge.

So, as you explain it, the word has been taking on a derogatory meaning. People are not using the word in the way I described (or as some of your trans friends use it), but they're using it as an insult or to cast judgement. If that's the case, then I have to resent that too.

@RavenMStark I have had "non binary" gay male friends tell me that women have cis privilege. I think about all the young women mutilated to look pure for their husbands, the ones being married as child brides in Yemen, or having acid thrown on their face by family members for looking at a man and I want to punch them.

Where's the privilege in being a target of rape, of female genital mutilation, of being 1/2 of a man in a court of law, of being lashed publicly for being a rape VICTIM? Ohhh that bothers me.

@ThomasinaPaine I am SOOOOOOOOOO over "privilege" being thrown around by people OF privilege to shame someone or shut down a conversation: My father was an immigrant to this country, spent years cleaning buses at night, going to school during the day to provide for his family and better himself.

The belief that someone is 'privileged' to be man, woman, white.....ARRRRGGGGHH! I really want to beat some brick walls - at least THEY have the chance of making some sense...

A lot of people that were allies, that wanted to 'be there for others' have been shamed and beaten over the head (metaphorically) for reaching out. I'm NOT someone that is an ally. I don't go out of my way to help others. I stick to my knitting and help those I come across if I'm able - with a significant dose of reality tossed in.

The people DEMANDING adherence, DEMANDING respect, DEMANDING allegiance, DEMANDING submission - can pound sand. You don't DEMAND. PERIOD.

Good people are tired of being taken advantage of, of being abused.

@tracycoyle Girl, aint it the truth! Immigrants don't have privilege in any country regardless of the color of their skin. They are literally starting over in a new country with no family, a new language, and no connections.

@ThomasinaPaine I won't defend what was said to you. I don't find most (if any) "privilege" discussions to be helpful or meaningful in any way. And I don't believe the people who said that to you had any right!

As a related side note, at a time before I was taking testosterone (thus, had a female-appearing body), I was told by SJW female friends of mine that I had "male privilege" just because I identified as male. I don't understand the logic behind that either!

@RavenMStark They are a cult. The left has always been a bit susceptible because people who gravitate to it are "feelers" so they place more emphasis on feelings over fact. Now...woah have they gone overboard.

I pick on the left a lot because -right now--they are worse. But if the right had control of media, social media, and entertainment they would be just as bad. Part of why I'm a libertarian is that I want a government so small that changes in political parties don't matter that much.

@ThomasinaPaine I agree, this is cult-like behavior and it has gone overboard.

I'm traditionally democratic, but I'm reaaaally embarrassed by the left right now. And I'm really outcast by the far-left right now! That's how I wound up on Slug. I can see I'm still pretty dang left for this community, but among my former peer group, I was unforgivably too far "right." (I have been called a "fascist" and a "Nazi" by my former group, as I've mentioned before!)

I am also a person who tries not to "take a part for the whole." If one person from a group is an idiot, that doesn't necessarily mean the entire group is composed of idiots. It may just mean that the idiot is the loudest. (Though, it doesn't mean the group ISN'T entirely composed of idiots either. That's a thing that requires further investigation to determine.)

@RavenMStark Go to a libertarian hangout. You'll see you fit right in. 🙂 You're a classical liberal.

@ThomasinaPaine @RavenMStark but avoid the libertarian party - they're a bunch of nuts. Classical liberals believe in government - as Thomasina points out - as small as possible, but it IS necessary. The political libertarians usually have lost sight of the need.

@tracycoyle @ThomasinaPaine Every party seems to be a bunch of nuts. It's like choosing between throwing gasoline on my house and lighting it on the outside or throwing gasoline on my floor and lighting it inside.

@RavenMStark That is why I was a founding member of a 3rd party back in 2008.


Language was not broken. There was no need to change it. If one has never had a period, was not born with ovaries and a uterus, one is not a woman. Full stop, end of conversation. A female too young to have a period is a girl. That is that. Biology does not lie, no matter how one may abuse one's body.

Turning a penis inside out is abuse. Do you know what happens? Men who want to pretend femaleness with surgery have to stick a dildo up there regularly to keep it inside. after a while the tissue turns necrotic and dies. I can only imagine how painful that must be. And you want to try to shame straight men for not wanting to stick theirs up that? I don't think so.

The fact is, those of us who disdain the term "cis" don't want to join in on this conversation at all. Most of us find all of this disgusting. At best we feel sorry for the people who have not had this mental illness seen to in a healthy manner.

@DontbeanassO Thank you for that POV. I do want to be educated by people who have a different opinion than me. This is valuable information for me in shaping my own opinions.

So, in your mind, what would be an appropriate alternative to using the term "cis?" Keeping in mind, this cat is already out of the bag, as it were. We can't go back in time. We can only go forward. How would you like to see use of language change?

Some 30 years after my 'inversion' surgery, the tissue is healthy and fine. I know MANY others 10, 20 and some even longer than 30 years post-op who's tissue is healthy and continuing to be a blessing to them. Is it different that the tissue of a biological woman? Yea. And? I won't go into the rest of your comment, I just wanted to correct your misconception.

BTW, I don't think it is abuse, self-abuse, self-mutilation or any other 'self harm' synonyms you care to consider...

@tracycoyle You shouldn't have to describe something so personal in mixed company. I am not going to talk about my vagina with anyone I'm not intimate with or not a physician.

@tracycoyle I don't consider it abuse or self-mutilation either, just for the record. Thank you for pointing out and correcting the misconception about this surgical procedure.


Also, I don't know how to add hashtags. Did I do it right? 🙂

You're fine. 🙂

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