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Hoe phase: Empowering or Damaging?

If your not familiar. A hoe phase is when a women engages in multiple casual sexual relationships for a period of time.

Before I start I would like to say not judging. Everyone has the right to share their bodies with whoever and however many consenting adults they wish but my thoughts on the hoe phase are changing. I used to think that a hoe phase was necessary in a woman's sexual development. A way to develope and fine tune her sexual appetite and learn about her body and gain confidence with her desires. Although now I feel it's damaging.

My reason for calling it damaging.

No one starts a hoe phase in a mature or emotionally stable place.
A hoe phase is usually triggered by a break up or immaturity. No women has ever started a hoe phase while being satisfied with their lives. They come from trauma. A break up is the most common trigger of a hoe phase. It has more to do with the women's grieving of a failed relationship than empowering her sexuality. Even if you look at the classic scenario of a girl goes off to college and gets her first taste of freedom and starts a hoe phase. It has more to do with her lack of guidance and rebellion than her pleasure but unlike the other vices of immaturity done in college like binge drinking and excessive partying where the we recognize their damaging effects the hoe phase gets a pass. It is just a potentially dangerous to a women's health and safety with added risk of emotional damage.

The health and safety risk.
This one is self explanatory. You put yourself at risk with ever new partner. A hoe phase increases that risk exponentially.

Loss of the ability to emotionally connect.
I know this is highly disputed but that's just how people work. We are highly adaptable. If a persons abuses drugs they will build up a tolerance. And that's all emotions are. Chemicals interpreted by your brain. And it works with our ability to connect. In this case oxytocin. Our brains release oxytocin after sex to encourage bonding but what happens brain get constantly flooded with oxytocin from random hookups? You develop a tolerance and it makes it harder for you to bond.

Also I realized something about the hoe phase talking to my female friends that made me completely reject the notion of the hoe phase being about a women discovering her sexuality. It seem that the most exploring of their sexuality was done within a committed relationship where they felt safe. Exposing the hoe for what it is. A really bad coping mechanism. But the hoe phase is here to stay judging from WAP being everywhere. There's not going to be a movement to encourage women to be monogamous hoes anytime soon.

What do you think of the hoe phase?

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Shiosakai 6 Sep 30
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As someone who's been through a "hoe phase" myself, yes it can be damaging; it can also provide valuable experiences. I'd say mine was fairly terrible, but regardless of that I came out the other side with maybe a lot of remorse but no regret for the lessons it taught me. I wouldn't describe it as empowering though.

ceeber Level 1 Oct 8, 2020

Sc**wing around and not finding love and commitment in the end is sad and depressing.


def agree with you. it can be a bit of both. i think many people start off their hoe phase when they are lonely or mentally / emotionally unhealthy.


People should do what they want with people who also want to do that.
Of course sex is risky on many levels, but risk can be minimized with caution.

The world would be a more peaceful place if people were sexually fulfilled.


I had such a phased, though I called it 'being a slut'. I was however, mature (33 as if age matters) and no rebounding off some emotional turmoil. I found it FUN and I was very diverse in my choices gaining me a very full understanding of men and the way culture interacts with them. After a couple years I settled down and was very happy doing so. Now, 8 years post my partner's death, I am sexually active again - though considerably more difficult at 62!!


I voted "who cares." Let people do what they want with whoever they want (with appropriate consent) as long as they aren't hurting anyone. I don't think your analysis of what leads to a "hoe phase" is factually accurate - seems more like anecdotal.

And as has already been asked, would you have the same analysis / opinion if we turned this around to question the behavior of men? There is a huge double standard when it comes to this, with men being "players" and given respect for bedding many women, with women being called "hoes" and "sluts" and considered damaged goods for bedding many men. We need to break this archaic thinking.

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