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guru

New South Wales, Australia

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Aug 25, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by guru

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them...

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

Over 800,000 Servicemen Face Court Martial For Not Getting Mandatory Vaccine, Biden Admin Fire

Trace Adkins Discusses Patriotism in Country Music

Katie Hopkins: Clap for Carers NOW Fire their arses? A National Scandal

THE TALIBAN'S ANTICOLONIAL WAR Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep 1

The President Biden Farce Is OVER, Approval Drops To THIRTY ONE PERCENT Among Independent Voters,

How Joe Biden is Proving to be Worse than Obama

Oregon Mandates OUTDOOR Masks, Regardless Of Vaccination Status

Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

What's the difference between baseball and politics? In baseball you're out if you're caught stealing.

When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.

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Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Aug 25, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by guru

My first job was being a diesel fitter at a pantyhose factory. As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, "yeah, Deez-el fit her."

THIS is Why the FBI Is Rolling Back Their Jan 6 Narrative

Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.

When a woman says "what?" It's not because she didn't hear you. She's just giving you a chance to change what you said.

What does a liar do after he dies? He lies still.

I feel old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

I feel so old that he gets nostalgic when he sees the Neolithic cave paintings.

An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true.

Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand...

It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown.

I see people are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow.

Felon CAUGHT With Hundreds Of CA Recall Ballots, Democrats PANIC As Larry Elder May Win Governorship

THE INSURRECTION THAT WASN’T Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep 160

Katie Hopkins: Could Care Home Staff FORCE the govt to overturn no jab no job? They are angels, all

Majority Of Americans Now Think Biden Is UNFIT To Be President, Most Don't Think Kamala Is Better

A Victory for Securing Texas' Future Elections

Our Generals Lied to Us for 20 Years About Afghanistan

What Can We Expect With the Mass Importation of Afghan Refugees?

I heard that AOC's ass is jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of her mouth?

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.

You know I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't.

Furious Jen Psaki Claims Americans Are Not Stranded in Afghanistan in HEATED Clash with Fox Reporter

Australia Issues Warrants For 'COVID Suspects,' Suspects Must MARK Homes, Internment Camps Next

“WE ARE ONE!”: Family-friendly Brisbane freedom rally draws thousands

New Democrat Bill Mandates Vaccines For Domestic Air Travel, FDA Approval Ignites Wave Of Mandates

Katie Hopkins- Being Fired for Refusing the State Injectible

HERE COME THE AFGHANS Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep159

The Most Shocking Free Speech Experiment You Will Ever See

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Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Aug 23, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by guru

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that ...

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Have you noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Aug 23, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by guru

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

Socialist Magazine FIRES Staff For Trying To Organize, It Is Ironic

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

So when I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

AOC say's that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

007 pig says: My name is bacon. Chris P. Bacon.

Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!

Dr. Sebastian Gorka Breaks Down and Tears Apart the Left's Excuses for the Afghanistan Crisis

NYC Has Become WORSE Than Military-Occupied Territory With Vaccine Passports

Reporter Reveals Results of Humiliating Poll About Joe Biden's Mental State TO HIS FACE

Democrats Mindlessly Vote For Policies That Hurt Them, Never Make Connection Between Vote And Misery

There’s been some talk of a wet T-shirt contest taking place in our little town; I’ll be the judge of that.

I went to India last year where I saw a man sitting cross-legged while he played a tune to a snake, and I thought to myself, “That’s charming, that is”.

Katie Hopkins: Saturday night as it should be …

I’ve been training for a marathon by running 10 miles a day which is really tiring, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all rules is rules.

I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall; honestly, you couldn’t make it up.

My friend’s selling a load of broken yo-yos, no strings attached.

My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.

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Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Aug 22, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by guru

Someone broke into my house and stole my external hard drive; they really got my backup.

The Afghanistan Exit Plan Which the Biden Admin Shelved

You know when I lose the TV controller, it's always hidden in some remote destination.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but checks when you say the paint is wet?

It's never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. You'll have trouble putting on your pants.

Letting go of a loved one can be hard. But sometimes, it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe.

They say money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal!

Well we have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart?

They say that knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I don't have a beer gut. I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

When Presidents Try To End Wars Media BLASTS Them, Reactionary Leftists Do NOT Want Peace

Where America Now Stands on the World Stage

Katie Hopkins: Try and Make Space in Your Head

I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.

I was so poor growing up that if I wasn’t a boy I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.

I have an inferiority complex but it’s not a very good one.

Reporter HAMMERS Biden on Afghanistan Debacle - Biden Gives Most SHAMEFUL Answer Possible

New CDC Data Confirms The Efficacy Of The Vaccine Is DROPPING, Boosters May Be A Regular Need

If You Look Closely, You Can See Obama's Fingerprints All Over the Afghanistan Crisis

Owen Shroyer Faces Charges For Being At The January 6th Protest

Katie Hopkins - The Katie’s Arms - from Fri 20 Aug

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ‘Well, that’s not going to happen.

I’m a little skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. That’s a bit of a stretch.

A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing.

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