guru's Profile

Follow Block User Report User

guru

New South Wales, Australia

Navigation

Posts

Apr 5, 2021Apr 2021

Husband & Wife went for divorce at court Judge: you have 3 kids...How will you divide them? They had long discussion with his wife and said,"Ok, Sir we will come next year with one more" 9 months later....They got twins!!

An old man is selling watermelons... His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10 A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. ...

What do you get if you boil a funny bone? Laughing stock

Military puns are funny... Generally speaking.

I always ask a funny question on first dates. "Are you a serial killer? " Its healthy to avoid competition in a relationship.

2 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 5, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

What makes terrorist jokes funny? The execution.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE!

A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, “Granny, what is a lover ?” “A lover!!” the grandmother said. “Let me think. Lov… Lover…. Oh, my God!” She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a...

Your Mama's So Old she went to an antique auction and three people bid on her!

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me... I must be a god!

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 4, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

PEOPLE ARE AWESOME (Summer Edition) ft. The 1975

Women Increasingly Confess REGRETTING Missing Family Time On Their Deathbeds, This Is SERIOUS

0 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

How Woke Politics Is Destroying Our Education System

The Insanity of Corporations Like Delta and Coca-Cola Weighing In On Georgia's Voting Law

2 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

Katie Hopkins Vaccine Passports

Joe Biden and the Democrats Are Collaborating with Cartels at the Border

YES - Astral Traveller

Dog Furiously Tears Up Mail Coming in Through Letterbox Slot

Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, “That’s a novel concept.”

What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

What would the Terminator be called in his retirement? The Exterminator.

A hard thing about a business is minding your own.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

0 comments

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

Apr 4, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

At First If You Don't Succeed

There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.

My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.

0 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

Apr 4, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Chicago Transit Authority (aka Chicago) - I'm A Man (1969)

Dog Gets Excited For Going on Walk With Owner

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

All I ask is a chance to prove can’t make me happy.

It’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.

I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.

My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?” The man says “I’m probably too honest.” The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good ...

DC Attacker Was A BLACK NATIONALIST, A Follower Of Louis Farrakhan, Reports NYT

Millennial Women Are More Depressed Than Other Demographics, They Might Just Be BABY-CRAZY

CNN Article MOCKED For Saying NO WAY To Determine Biological Sex At Birth, They TWIST Language

0 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

Apr 3, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Alvin Lee & Leslie West - Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On

3 comments

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

Apr 3, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

People are Awesome - Girls Edition | Amazing Skills Compilation

Destruction du château d'eau

What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!

A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, "This is a library." The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please."

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

I went into a store to buy some books about turtles. "Hardbacks?" asked the shopkeeper."Yes," I replied. "And they have little heads, too."

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, "Just you wait!"

People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 3, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button!

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 3, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

“Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand”

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup.”

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 3, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Did you hear what happened to the blind circumciser? He got the sack.

THE DEMOCRAT’S CHILD ABUSE Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep60

CCTV: Police officer saved by handcuffed teenager in Florida.

1 comment

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

So many freaks, so few circuses.

Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like there’s no tomorrow?

Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do.

My asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me.

I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to who can’t.

Why did the dog do so well in school? Because he was the teacher’s pet!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.

Key Witness In Chauvin Trial SKIPS Trial, Pleads Fifth After Being Exposed As Floyd's DEALER

Katie Hopkins with The Katie’s Arms

GOP Congresswoman's Calls Vaccine Passports 'Mark Of The BEAST', It's Driving People Insane

Welcome@daroldbanniste

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.

A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’

After the horse ate all of his hay, he had a baleful look about him.

Why did the balloons run away from the concert? They were playing pop music!

Man Lets Curious Boy Play On His Phone

A cement mixer collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

Toughest job I ever had? Selling doors, door-to-door.

My wife – it’s difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore.

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape. I choose round.

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.

Isle of Wight Festival (1970) - Ten Years After - I Can't Keep From Crying (Live)

Ten Years After (Alvin Lee) - Love Like A Man

0 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

Apr 2, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

TEN YEARS AFTER - Woke Up This Morning

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 2, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Ozzy Man Reviews: Mama Bear vs Traffic Jam

FULL AUTO BEAST - RARE Swedish M36

Toddler hugs Golden Retriever before heading out to school

AOC Does the Border Again, But Now Without the Tears!

“My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. It never really took off.”

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

“Conjunctivitis. – that’s a site for sore eyes.”

“I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.'”

Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

“Exit signs? They’re on the way out!”

0 comments

Photos

Top tags#video #biden #joebiden #democrats #youtube #media #Podcast #Police #Australia #world #China #ElonMusk #kids #truth #democrat #insane #government #comedy #climate #wife

Level9 (631,327pts)
Posts21549
Comments
Replies 4,311
1,960
Followers 57
Fans 0
Following 63
Referrals58
Joined Sep 28th, 2020
Last Visit 6+ months ago

guru's Groups

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

327 members, Host

Liz Wheeler Fans Page.

116 members, Host

Sky News Australia Fans

70 members, Host

Matt Walsh Group (The Sweet Baby Gang)

59 members, Host

Russell Brand Fan Page

Anthony Brian Logan Fans

21 members, Host

International News

396 members, Moderator

I Love Dogs

89 members, Moderator

Controversial Charts

48192 members

Jordan Peterson Group

Sydney Watson Fanspace

Laughing at the Hateful Left

2675 members

Politically Incorrect folks

2479 members

Anti-Socialism

2268 members

President Donald J. Trump... Latest

2065 members

Saving Western Civilisation

2056 members

Firearms

1700 members

John Paul Watson Group

1610 members

Liberalism Is A Mental Disorder

Conspiracy Truth : Wolves And Sheeple

Emergency Preparedness and Survival

949 members

Andy Ngo Fans

916 members

Libertarian Freethinkers

898 members

COVID-19

765 members

The Second Amendment Sanctuary

650 members

Conspiracy Research

575 members

Prager University Alumni

US Elections fraud, the Deep State & The Reset

376 members

Jokes That Will Get You Banned From Twitter

Candace Owens Fan Club

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

205 members

Dr. Steve Turley Group

185 members

Gardening 101

180 members

Joe Biden Is Not My President

178 members

Dr. Prepper

175 members

Cyber Security/Technology/Cryptocurrencies & Blockchain

The Oldies, but Goodies

96 members

Jesse Lee Peterson fans

87 members

Mark Dice Fan Club

76 members

Literature of our time: Film and Television

65 members

I Did Not Know That...

60 members

Guitars and Guitarists - All Genres of Music Welcome

52 members

Weapons World

50 members

The Greg Gutfeld Show

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

21 members

Monty Python and Fawlty Towers Fans

21 members

New Australian Bulletin

20 members

Association of Mature American Citizens

18 members

Cigars and Hooch: Opinions, Laws, and Culture

17 members

Education

17 members

Children's Health Defense

About
Terms
Privacy
Promote
Contact
FAQ

Slug.com - the non-profit community that permits fact-based discussions of all topics.

Navigation

Posts

Photos

Details

guru's Groups