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guru

New South Wales, Australia

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Mar 29, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

Trump Could Have Been INSANELY Successful, He NEEDED To Drain The Swamp

Cowboys Didn't Actually Wear Cowboy Hats Those big Stetsons that everyone associates with cowboys like John Wayne, Billy the Kid, or Wyatt Earp? Cowboys didn't wear those. In fact, the hat of choice for the 19th century cowboys was actually a bowler ...

2 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 29, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

Comedians Are Afraid to Mock Biden

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 29, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

Ozzy Man Reviews: British Daredevil

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It was a whisk I was willing to take.

The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve. Yes, it was an Apple. But with an extremely limited memory. Just one byte. Then everything crashed.

What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe.

Honestly, I don’t mind leg day at the gym. It’s just the two days after that I can’t stand.

My friend said to me, “I won’t use stores that gender kids’ beds.” I said, “Like a boycott?”

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.

2 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Columbus Didn't Actually Discover America No, this European explorer did not discover America. Columbus was 500 years too late. In fact, it was the Norse explorer Leif Erikson who landed on American shores during the 10th century. Erikson could be ...

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt.

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? "Oh sheet!"

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 29, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he proceeds to walk towards the front desk, his elbow accidentally hits a woman's breast. The man tells the lady in a shaky voice, "If your heart is as soft as your breast, you will...

I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.

My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.

Katie Hopkins as Batley Grammar School's New RS Teacher

0 comments

Sydney Watson Fanspace

Mar 29, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

Actually, it's NOT "all men"

Before the 16th president took office, Abraham Lincoln was declared a wrestling champion. The 6'4" president had only one loss among his around 300 contests. He earned a reputation for this in New Salem, Illinois, as an elite fighter. Eventually, he ...

Woke Leftists REMOVE Skill Requirements From Games, Ruining Them For Everyone Equally

How to Make It In This Politically and Economically Uncertain Era

A Patriot's PATH to Financial FREEDOM | How to Not Be Enslaved to LIBERAL Banking with Michael Lush

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

There is a myth about a young George Washington that states that the president, when he was a boy, cut down his father's apple tree with a hatchet. When his father confronted him, he said, "I cannot tell a lie." Yeah—never happened. It first ...

From WOKE LIBERAL to CONSERVATIVE Scholar! | The Story of Dr. Steve Turley

Vancouver Attack: One dead, multiple injured in attack

Biden Says He Was In Senate For 120 YEARS, Snopes Confirms He Said It

Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food!

It’s cleaning day so naturally, I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

A chicken walked into a public library, marched up to the desk, and said, “Book, book, book, book.” So the librarian handed the bird a book, the chicken accepted it, and then left. Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, threw the book on the ...

2 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.

Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling!

News Alert: Defence Chiefs of 12 Nations condemn violence by Junta

Ted Cruz follows science with masks ‘unlike the party of science’ the Democrats

‘Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible.’ ‘Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.’

I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I know live in constant fear.

Whiteboards are remarkable.

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 28, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

When the cannibal showed up late to the buffet, they gave him the cold shoulder.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Despite what you may believe, the last queen of Egypt wasn't born in Egypt. As best as Historians can tell, Cleopatra VII (that's her formal name) was Greek. She was a descendant of Alexander the Great's Macedonian general Ptolemy.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.

Who Is Running the Country Right Now?!

My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

Male deer have buck teeth.

A smelly ant was expelled from the colony because he was deodorant.

When a new hive is done, bees have a house swarming party.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 27, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath.

Turkeys Were Once Worshipped Like Gods While the turkey is currently America's favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal, in 300 B.C., these big birds were heralded by the Mayan people as vessels of the gods and were honored as such, so much so that ...

Dog Stretches Like Yoga Pose Between Two Couches

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 27, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

Boy Outsmarts Dad and Pulls Money Bill Kept Under Bottle Without Touching It

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants' fingers.

There were three horses on a ship, including a sick bay.

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only shorts made of plastic wrap. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

3 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Dog Gets Excited While Reuniting With Owner After a Year

Four week old puppy escapes his pen to be closer to mom and dad.

An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.

Life would B flat without music.

When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.

WHO’S RUNNING THE COUNTRY Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep55

Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de tail.

The flock of doves decided to stage a coo.

If you hear it from the horse's mouth you're listening to a neigh sayer.

The Katie's Arms 26.03.21 LIVE from the Instagram Pub

Ted Cruz Leads VICE Style "Hunt" For Smugglers And Illegal Immigrants, Democrats Call It A STUNT

Dog Hops on Robotic Vacuum Cleaner to Ride it

Thousands flee to Colombia after clashes on Venezuela border

A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.

An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then it flew off the handle.

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

Scientists have created a flea from scratch.

He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.

A horse is a very stable animal.

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can't croak.

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

To drive an electric car, do you need a current license?

I told my son he put his shoes on the wrong feet. He looked down and said, "Nope, these are mine."

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: "Five beers, please.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Mar 26, 2021Mar 2021

Posted by guru

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.

There’s a band called 23MB. They haven’t had any gigs yet though

1 comment

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Level9 (631,327pts)
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Joined Sep 28th, 2020
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