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guru

New South Wales, Australia

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Just Jokes and Memes

Jun 15, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

How do we know the earth is round? Because if it was flat, cats would’ve pushed everything off the edge by now.

The other day I was climbing a tree with a friend He was talking about life and I had some advice so I said “alright I’m going out on a limb here...

Critical Race Theory is the Great Lie: Here Are All the Ways It Distorts History

Did you hear about the mushroom who parked illegally? He was Toad.

I learned that the vasectomy was invented by the Ancient Greek physician Euclipides. Euclipides nuts.

Yesterday I went for an eye test. I failed the test. I didn't see that coming.

Sin city we all know is Las Vegas, but do you know what Den city is? Mass over volume.

I spent the whole day shopping for shrubs Boy, am I bushed!

Why do bees stay inside their hives all winter? 'swarm.

What's the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club? Tell everybody

I’ve just got my latest batch of hemorrhoids medication but I had to call the doctor when I got a bad reaction. He asked ‘where did you apply it?... On the bus.

Biden's Brain Stops Working When the Press Asks Him About Putin

FRANKLY SPEAKING Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep 110

Biden Seems To Get LOST At G7, Crowd Laughs At Him As He Wanders Confused, Democrats Made A Bad Bet

Female Student Announces She Is Male

Chinese Influence OVERLAPS With Elite Interests, We Are Being SUBVERTED And It's Scary

Did you know over 1 million wash basins are confiscated at the border every year for no reason? Let that sink in...

I ran out of toilet paper so I started using old newspapers The Times are rough.

My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth. I said it must be because he has the better dentist.

Why aren't koalas classified as bears? Because they don't have the right koalafications.

Did you hear about the doctor who was studying ways of making people laugh? He was known for his test tickles.

I put scaffolding on my Hi-fi and steel girders on my digital radio. Then my mom told me to stop reinforcing stereo types.

Sometimes, I use words I don’t understand So I can sound more photosynthesis.

Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.

Journalist Who EXPOSED Secret Clinton Meeting With Attorney General Reportedly Takes Own Life

Gun Control Leads To Police Training WEAKNESSES, People DIE When Police Lack Proper Arms, Training

Everyone is FINALLY Talking About It

0 comments

Kaitlin Bennett Fan Club

Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...? His buns were toasted.

A guy asks his neighbour: "Please lend me your electric drill." The neigbour asks: "What do you want it for?" The guy replies: "I want to get some sleep."

What advice did the dietician give the tightrope walker? You need a balanced diet.

When you swim in the creek and an eel bites your cheek that's a moray!

Two slices of bread are competing to see who would stay fresh the longest. It ended in a stalemate.

I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of weed and read the dictionary. High definition.

I walked into Battery World and asked for a specific battery. The guy said “Is it for a clock?” I said “I don’t know, that’s why I need a battery!!”

Judo - it's the art of folding clothes perfectly... ...while the people are still in them.

Watch This Quick-Thinking Coach Save Gymnast From Life-Threatening Fall

Uriah Heep - Come away Melinda

Uriah Heep "Stealin'" Live 1973

URIAH HEEP JULY MORNING 1972

0 comments

The Greatest Music Ever Made, Ever Played.

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

Jun 14, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

Margo Hayes La Rambla 9a+ 5.15a

Joe Biden's Brain Sputters Out as He Rambles Idiotically, Confuses Syria and Libya Multiple Times

Propaganda Says Millennials Don't WANT To Buy Homes, They Are Really BEGGING To Own Their Own Homes

Where does China keep their political prisoners? Wontonamo Bay.

I asked a girl from my school out for a date; she only responded with a comment about our classes schedules something about not having Chemistry together.

Netflix writers have so many different shows to deal with... They have trouble keeping all their characters straight.

What do you call a collection of weapons kept for the purpose of burning down buildings? An arsonal.

Why do your heart, liver and lungs all fit in your body? Because they are well organized.

My plan for tomorrow is to get some new glasses After that I guess I’ll just see what happens.

What did the scarf say to the hat? I’m just gonna hang around here.. you go on ahead.

What do you call a serious of dots and dashes that Vikings used to communicate with? Norse Code.

I think it was a mistake to go to that "swingers in the dark" party last night... ...I don't know what came over me.

Katie Hopkins KT's Arms 13 June 2021

Here's What Makes Some of the Greatest Sentences Ever Written Unforgettable

Wall Street Is Attacking the American Dream of Home Ownership

Reporter Alex Berenson Explores the Secrets Fauci and the NIH Hid from the Public

These Leftists are Calling for the Genocide of White People

Will Kamala Harris EVER Go To the U.S.-Mexico Border?

Vox Pitches Idea Of LITHIUM In The Water Supply To Make People Less Suicidal, This Is INSANE

I dared to ask my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of Whiteout from the store. Big mistake.

I just accepted a senior management position on the old MacDonald farm I'm the CIEIO

“Officer, you can’t give me a ticket. I have to go run the marathon tomorrow.” Cop: That’s not how you play the race card.

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Jun 13, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

I've just invented a thought controlled air freshener. Sounds crazy!! But it makes scents, if you think about it.

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Jun 13, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

My greatest skill is humor... Sometimes people even tell me I smell funny.

A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production I had to bale him out.

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count.

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Jun 13, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

I went out to dinner with a mathematician who was addicted to addition... I have never seen so many positive signs on the first date.

1 comment

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

Jun 13, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

Wins Vs Fails In Unicycling, Weightlifting, Horseback Riding & More | People Are Awesome Vs FailArmy

Former US Official Suspended From Twitter For Comparing Brian Stelter To The GIMP From Pulp Fiction

Where did Noah keep the bees during the flood? In the Ark Hives.

I'm thinking about getting into drag racing... It looks pretty straight forward.

My wife and kids are threatening to walk out of the house because of my addiction to horse racing. And they’re off!

Where does a myth buster sleep? In debunk bed.

Katie Hopkins: How’s that Double Vaccine = Freedom working out for you!?

Hope not lost if 'rock star' Ron DeSantis runs for Oval Office

LeBron James is the Most Hated Player

Why can't a AOC dial 911? She can't find the eleven.

Did you hear about the cocaine addicted improv actor? He was constantly thinking about his next line.

I love to write in notebooks that have margins but blank one's are where I draw the line.

I bought a bunch of antique spears online. But when I received them, they were all missing their spear heads. I got shafted.

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me. It's all just flake news.

Are you afraid of bridges? Get over it!

What do you call a self employed individual who works with fertilizer? An Entremanure.

I'm going into therapy to deal with my fear of escalators, but it shouldn't take long ... It's only a one step program.

What’s the difference between a physicist and a physician? A physicist is busy before firing a catapult; the physician is busy after.

0 comments

Candace Owens Fan Club

Jun 12, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

Candace Owens Q&A: Relationship Advice & Politics In Church

Jim Jordan HAMMERS FBI Head: Why Do Leaks Always Benefit Democrats?

Some Good Things Are Happening in South Texas

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Jun 12, 2021Jun 2021

Posted by guru

Welcome to Comedy, Laughs and Humor.@kultured_yobbo

Miranda Devine Brings Out New Details on Joe Biden's Corruption with His Son Hunter

People Are Awesome: Incredible Skills Compilation

Incredible Calisthenics, Trick Shots, Basketball & More! | Best Of The Week

My boss calls me "The computer" Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

I took my dog to the water park, Staff said it went against regulation, but... This time they'd let it slide.

Dropped $10 and the wind caught it, I had to chase it down the road.. I never caught it but I had a good run for my money.

Why should you never buy Russian underwear? Because Chernobyl fallout.

I had to see a psychiatrist recently after becoming obsessed with a specific shade of purple Apparently I’m Plum Crazy

What's the most washed body part of 2020? The brain...

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Top tags#video #biden #joebiden #democrats #youtube #media #Podcast #Police #Australia #world #China #ElonMusk #kids #truth #democrat #insane #government #comedy #climate #wife

Level9 (631,327pts)
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Joined Sep 28th, 2020
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