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New South Wales, Australia

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Apr 8, 2021Apr 2021

"Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?"

"Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?"

2 comments

HOPE, HUMANITY, ACHIEVEMENT and ENDURANCE

Apr 8, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Fastest Workers In The World | Fast Movers

Leftist Experiment Into Soft On Crime Prosecutors BACKFIRED, Crime Is SKYROCKETING Under Leftist DA

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Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 8, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Laurel and Hardy: Why didn't you tell me you had 2 legs

I ask my wife if we could try to do it doggy style... She rolled over and played dead.

Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

What kind of jokes does Curly like? Nyuk Nyuk Jokes.

Why do pirates love Playboy Magazine? You'd think it's for the booty, but they really read it for the arrrticles.

A barbarian warrior is captured by the enemy He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life: he must survive four trials by ordeal. The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals. The second, to ...

You know the clothing company Puma? They make Puma shirts, Puma socks... I wonder why they don't make pants

“Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife. She said, “Wear your own then.”

So apparently Julie Andrews (best known for playing Mary Poppins) will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick... She claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement, she said, “The super color fragile lipstick ...

The local wig shop was burgled Police is combing the area..

The recall Grimm reaper is one step closer to Gavin! No prison time for the uber eats killers.

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

I’m not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and i’m not gonna die the same way.

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden. The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

“When Republicans do Politics, it’s a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it’s Politics.”

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: “Give me your money.” The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: “But, wait! You can’t do that, I am a Congressman!” The thief replies: ...

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 7, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? – The letter F.

Jordan Peterson Turned Into Super-Villain by BLM Activist?

Caitlyn Jenner Considering Run For California Governor

SNL Skit Showing Blacks Skeptical Of Vaccine INFURIATES Liberals!

TOCQUEVILLE’S AMERICA Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep63

Woke Hollywood Celebrity DEHUMANIZES Half The Country.

WATCH: Tucker Carlson DISMANTLES AK Governor Asa Hutchinson.

MASSIVE Backfire Against Prosecutor May Have Just Gotten Derek Chauvin Acquitted In Floyd Trial

A man goes to the doctor for a physical. He tells the doctor not to be alarmed, but he has five penises. The doctor says, “Five penises?! How do your pants fit?” The man replies, “Like a glove.”

A man goes to the doctor for a check-up. Man: “Will I be all right, doc?” Doctor: “You are in grave danger — Mercury is in Uranus.” Man: “I don’t buy into that astrology nonsense!” Doctor: “Neither do I. My thermometer broke.”

How did the doctor cure the invisible man? He took him to the ICU.

A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Give me the fingers and I’ll see what I can do.” “But, I don’t have the fingers!” “Why didn’t you bring the ...

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the...

A doctor walks into a staff meeting with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. A nurse asks him why he has a thermometer behind his ear? The doctor grabs the thermometer, looks at it, and exclaims, “Damn, some asshole has my pen!”

Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately? The nearest golf course.

Patient: “Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.” Doctor: “How do you feel?” Patient: “A little down in the mouth.”

Woke Captain America Comic Makes Jordan Peterson The Villain, Insane Wokeness Is DESTROYING Comics

Why the Digital Censors at Twitter, Facebook and YouTube Are Not Just Vicious, But Stupid

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Before you touch your mouth.

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 7, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

Chinese embassy release propaganda film riddled with misinformation on Uyghur genocide

Antifa Guy SLAMS To The Ground After Falling Off Bank He Climbed, Writhes In AGONY Begging For Help

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a ...

GANG OF THREE Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep62

SCOTUS Opinion On Censorship Just Opened The Door For MAJOR Conservative Victories Over Big Tech

KATIE HOPKINS STRENGTHEN. ENDURE. PREVAIL

It has been reported that the first European settlers in Australia drank more alcohol per head of population than any other community in the history of mankind.

In 1954, Bob Hawke was immortalised by the Guinness Book of Records for sculling 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Bob later became the Prime Minister of Australia.

Joe Biden Refuses to Correct His Own "Alternative Facts" | What the Georgia Law ACTUALLY Says

EMA links AstraZeneca vaccine to blood clots | Corona vaccine | Covid update

Hunter Biden Has Never Had to Answer for His Scandals | A Disgusting Press Coverup

Labrador asks for food in the cutest way.

Dog Doesn't Want To Share Her Toy

Golden Retriever Gets Tired After Playing Tetherball

What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.

I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys? A: It’s true. when was the last time you ate a monkey?

1 comment

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 6, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

Why wouldn’t the poppy seed leave the casino? He was on a roll.

Why are frogs are so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.

What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A con descending

Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Woman plays in the floor with her dog and claims to win

What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day.

Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is Dublin.

What was the frog’s job at the hotel? Bellhop.

What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.

Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.

AMERICAN PRAVDA Dinesh D’Souza Podcast Ep61

Conservatives WIN Major Legal Battles, Lawsuit Against Trump BACKFIRES, Opens Door To END Censorship

YES - Owner of a Lonely Heart

The world’s most successful pirate in history was a lady named Ching Shih. She was a prostitute in China until the pirate Cheng I bought and married her. But, her husband considered her his equal and she became an active pirate commander. Together...

I got a job as a fog bank, I'ts hard work with little pay... but I make dew.

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a ...

0 comments

Comedy, Laughs and Humor.

Apr 5, 2021Apr 2021

Posted by guru

After the car skidded into the tree, the first man on the scene found the driver still behind the wheel, dazed and bleeding. “How badly are you hurt?” He enquired. “How the hell should I know,” muttered the driver. “I’m a doctor not a ...

There was once a magician who performed sleight-of-hand tricks on a cruise ship. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the on-board parrot ...

An American man is visiting Sydney Australia. Going around seeing all the sites. Suddenly he is struck by a car, injuring him, and putting him into a coma for 24 hours. He wakes up in the hospital, dazed and disoriented, he just sees the all white ...

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night. The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or ...

Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses farted. Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira ...

Chiropractors are hilarious. They crack me up.

Owning Guns Should Be NORMALIZED, Cars Are Similarly Deadly And No One Thinks Twice About Them

China reports biggest jump in daily cases of Covid-19 in over 2 months

Supertramp Old Grey Whistle Test 1974

A Kid ran to his mother shouting... "Mother, Mother.. there is a Dog outside our house and its the size of an Elephant!!" The Mother replies " Son, i told you 5000,000 times, don't over exaggerate things too much."

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Joined Sep 28th, 2020
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